Tea Time: Special Snowflake Syndrome

Can I get a drumroll please?

I took a two week midterm coffee and spring break mimosa break, but have since returned to the beloved tea, Tea Tuesday ™ that is.  This Tuesday we are discussing something I like to call Special Snowflake Syndrome.

Special Snowflake Syndrome  is characterized by statements such as, “I’m not like the other (fill in with any identity/demographic). I (fill in any common thing/action/thought).” Statements such as these drive me bonkers, especially when they are used to put down one’s own demographic in order to raise oneself up in comparison.  Example: “I am not like those other girls. I prefer sneakers over heals any day.” That is a real sentence I had to hear with my own two ears last week. Like really? First of all, and most importantly, a ton of girls prefer tennis shoes over heals. There is nothing special about having that preference. Second of all, the way the statement is phrased and used makes it seem as one is better than the other. As if girls, or in this case this one “special” girl, who wears sneakers is superior to girls who wear heals which is a completely ludicrous idea.

I know your mom always told you were unique, and you are, no one else has lived every single part of your life, but you. That being said, there is arguably not a single part of your life, when taken independetly, that several other people have not also expereinced felt/ went through.  In other words, you are a unique whole made up of commonplace parts. This whole “I am not like the other…” is just a thing you made up to feel a little more cool in ways you are not. Sorry.

Furthermore, this whole ‘don’t push down other people in your identity to try and make yourself feel special/superior because that is fake’ also applies to other people complimenting you. When somebody elevates you by pushing down your peers, it is not a true elevation.

“You’re not like the other girls”

“You are pretty for a black girl.”

“You don’t act like them though. You are different. In a good way that is.”

I would like to sum up this tea with some concluding points. It is not your attributes that make you special, but rather the combination of them. True worth/ importance/ value is independent of others. Do not make yourself the other half of a comparison because even when you are the “good” half, it is relative at best.

“When one is thirsty for the truth, the tea brews itself.”

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