How to Help a Friend Struggling with Depression

Andrea Cooper lost her 20-year-old daughter, Kristin Cooper, to suicide in 1995, after a male friend raped her. Leading to her suicide, Kristin showed several signs of depression.

If you have a friend who is depressed, take a look at the rules below, taken from Cooper’s “Kristin’s Story” presentation. Give your friend your support and time to prevent them from taking their own life. 

Rule #1: Let your friend make his or her own decisions. 

“Don’t smother your friend,” Cooper said. “Don’t want to make decisions for them. Don’t force them to press charges if they don’t want to. Whatever you do, do not call their parents.”

Rule #2: Be attainable.

“I wouldn’t advise you to skip a class, but give up some of your personal time to be with this person and give comfort and be very patient,” Cooper said.

Rule #3: Don’t judge your friend.

“It’s not her fault,” Cooper said. “If you judge her, blame her, it’s like she’s being violated again.”

Rule #4: Listen to them.

“Be very quiet and be a good listener,” Cooper said. “And let the person talk about whatever the situation was.”

Rule #5:  Advise your friend to find the right counselor.

“Not every counselor is perfect for you,” Cooper said. “You have to have chemistry with them when you feel like you can really open up to them and they understand you.”

Rule #6: Suggest getting medicine from a psychiatrist. 

“With my depression, I did have to see three different psychiatrists before I could get the right one and the right medication,” Cooper said. “And that’s a question I get a lot because someone would say ‘I’m on medication and it’s not helping.’ Well there’s got to be fifty medications out there so you’re probably not using the right medication… And I think it’s really important to see the psychiatrist who’s the real psychological doctor to prescribe it.”

Rule # 7: Make sure your friend doesn’t pull themself off their medication.

“You should never pull yourself off,” Cooper said. “As a matter of fact with young people like your age, if you pull yourself off your meds, all of a sudden you can become suicidal.”

Rule #8: Show them the signs.

“If they don’t believe that they’re depressed and they’re in denial, just print up the signs of depression and show them the signs,” Cooper said.

Rule #9: Consider going to counseling as well.

“If they still refuse to go (to counseling) you can go yourself and get some advice on how to help them,” Cooper said.

Rule #10: Make sure they take advantage of the resources on and off campus.

“You can go to the Women’s Aid Center, Sexual Aggression Peer Advocates (SAPA,) counseling center,” Cooper said. “You have wonderful resources on campus.”

For more information on resources for helping a friend struggling with depression go to kristinsstory.com.

• Charnae Sanders
• depression
• Her Campus C-Mich