When I came to terms with my disability, everything changed. I realized that nobody could tell me that “You’re not good enough” or that “Your dreams do not matter.” I became aware of my limitations even though I had been told about them for years. Being seen as the ‘stereotypical’ disabled person most of life, I have had to learn to cope with my disability and how to deal with the setbacks along the way.
I have two sisters who are able-bodied, Meghan and Maggie. Maggie is a sophomore in high school and Meghan recently graduated from Davidson College. My mother and father are also able-bodied. Growing up in a home with different experiences other than mine, not being sheltered from society changed my perspective entirely. My immediate family, as well as my extended family, has shown compassion and acceptance. Even in certain situations, my family was always honest with me. And at times when it was needed, they were brutally honest.
My mom treated me exactly the same way as she treated Meghan and Maggie. She was always hard on me and did not beat around the bush with anything. She expected me to give 110 percent. Ironically, Maggie has always taken charge and told me what to do. I admire her for not caring about what other people think, for her witty comebacks and for always being honest with me. Meghan was always the one that could make me laugh in the middle of a crisis. I have a distinct memory of her trying to calm down after my mom and I had a fight, she was explaining to me that the fact that I have a disability did not define me, but I did have limitations. There are were many of those fights, of why I can’t go hiking in Maine, why I can’t go to school in heels and why everything I couldn’t do Maggie and Meghan could. But in the worst of times, they are the three people I can always count on.
Since being in the REACH Program here at C of C, I have become more independent, learned how to trust my instincts and I have had to rely on myself for things I would normally rely on my parents for. I have always been social, and throughout middle and high school I always had friends. But during the transition between high school and college I became more confident in my actions and how I present myself. I have made friendships that have changed my life and have discovered things about myself that would have been hard to without coming here. My passion for writing has expanded immensely. I have been accepted into the community here, and even when I feel homesick, my heart is home. I consider Charleston to be home because the REACH Program was willing to give me the chance to shine, to show them that I have the potential to grow, and to squash disability stereotypes.
I am taking classes in Political Science and Women and Gender Studies. Sexual Harassment, Political Thought, Gender Roles and Patriarchy are among the many things I am interested in studying. I have become increasingly active in politics and well-rounded in conversations that deal with controversial issues. For my career interests, I am interested in many things. I definitely want to live in D.C. and want to work in the political sphere. I am very passionate about writing so I would like to have a writing career someday. I am also interested in running for office, working for a non-profit and/or working for a political caucus like EMILY’S LIST.
The REACH staff has had a huge impact on me as well. They have been my main support system since I have been at college. They have taught me so many things such as how to stand up for myself and how to feel comfortable in my own skin. I know I can go to them for anything. Not only are they authority figures but they are my friends, confidants, and my family.
I have made many friends since arriving at College of Charleston. Among those friends there is often the common knowledge that I am in the REACH Program. Other times, I have friends that I do not tell. I am not saying I am ashamed of my disability, because if you were to look really closely at me you would be able to tell I have one. I just don’t see the point in telling EVERYONE that I have a disability, because then it would define me. And my disability does not define me. I am proud of my disability, my weirdness, my past and my scars. It took me a long time to get to the point where I could say that. I was angry, depressed and confused. I didn’t understand how this could happen to me and not my sisters. But isn’t that life? Things happen and you can’t change them. I’m a big believer in faith, destiny and serendipity. Would my life be different if I didn’t have Cerebral Palsy/Hemapligia? I’ll never know.
If you are struggling with your disability here are a few words of wisdom: Embrace it! You are blessed with something special that you can educate people on, and despite what other people say you have every right to be in this world. Even at your worst know that it will get better. There is always a new day and people are always here for you.
Charleston sunrise photo: Ashley Curtis. Instagram: @ashwee_curtis