From the moment I was born I was destined to be that short girl. With a grand total height of only 5 foot (okay maybe more like 4’11 1/2”), I am the epitome of a short statured woman. Being below the requirements of normalcy in the height department can be rather amazing, contrary to all your beliefs. I love representing all my girls out there whose bodies will never stretch to reach a certain altitude that is above 5’2”. Just because we aren’t “normal” in terms of how tall we are, doesn’t mean we can’t still flaunt what we got. We are the powerful petite, the mighty miniatures, and the sassy shorties that lack in height but make up in all around fierceness.
However, I digress, living in a world where the average human racks in at 5’4”, can leave us tiny humans running into our fair share of eye-rolling day-to-day hardships. It definitely can be a challenge trying to live our fabulous height impaired lives in a world made for the majority who long ago surpassed us in the growing process of adolescent puberty. Yep, we definitely deal with those #shortpeopleproblems in the form of jokes, annoyances, and questions that relentlessly plague our lovely days of embracing the pintsized life.
Dedicated to all my fellow shorties out there who can truly fathom what it is like to be a little person in a big world.
1. You get asked if you were premature when you were born. Contrary to all those ignorant peoples beliefs, being a preemie does not solidify a future of being below average height.
2. You can’t reach the top shelf, meaning you must either test the limits on how far your arm can stretch, ask someone to get it for you, or have your handy dandy stool within reach.
3. You get mistaken as a child. Hostesses basically gave you a kid’s menu until you were 17.
4. You are constantly doing calf exercises because you are always forced to stand on your tiptoes.
5. Your neck hurts because you have to look up so often.
6. You are always the one nominated to sit in the middle seat on road trips.
7. You get called cute. Though this is meant as a compliment, when you pass a certain age you would no longer like to qualify for looks that are adorable. Please save the “awwww you’re so cute” and cheek pinching for someone who still possesses baby like qualities.
8. You can still fit into kids’ clothes. This is somewhat of a bad/good problem. Yes, it is embarrassing that we can probably still fit a shirt from the little girls store Justice, but it does have inherent positivity when shopping. For us shorties can find some pretty savvy saves. (Confession: many of my sweatshirts, t-shirts and jeans are labeled youth. NO SHAME!)
9. You are shorter than or the same height as the entire population of children above the ages of 8. This is even more troubling when the kid you are babysitting for is the same height as you. Definitely undermines your edge on being authoritative.
10. You dreaded going to amusement parks because you weren’t tall enough for the rides that were actually thrilling. It was a long and hated wait with the kiddie rides before you finally didn’t have to sit on the bench while your friends got an adrenaline rush on the jaw dropping upside down roller coaster. (On the plus side, you always won a prize at those guess my age games that are at every amusement park. “No sir I am not 14 years old. I am 21. BOOYAH! Now, where’s my prize?)
11. You dislike standing next to your tall friend, for it highlights how short you really are. Might as well put a huge arrow over my head saying ATTENTION LADIES AND GENTLEMEN. This girl is very short.
12. You get called fun sized. People of America, short people do not want to have a mini version of a candy bar as their symbolic equivalent.
13. You sometimes can’t see over a podium. No lie. Last year in one of my classes I had to give a speech and the podium hit me right below my neck. So I basically looked like a floating head.
14. You get asked, “How’s the view from down there?” You just all need to stop with this one. Seriously, just stop.
15. You have people crouch down to talk with you. If anything brings out my small but feisty self it is this one. Do not treat me like I am five years old. You can hear me just fine if you stand up straight.
16. You are looked at as being too dainty or incapable of beating someone in a fight. Don’t underestimate my small stature, cause I’ve got guns of steel hidden away. I might be small but I am mighty.
17. You get picked up totally unannounced. Just because I am easy to lift, does not give you the right to treat me like a baby doll.
18. You are referred to as someone’s mini me. Yeah, I don’t want to qualify as your small evil twin.
19. Your head is used as an armrest. The top of my head is not the same as the arm of a sofa.
20. You wish maxi dresses didn’t drag on the floor when you tried them on.
21. You have to get most of your pants or dresses hemmed.
22. You get an extra leg workout when you venture into the deep end of the pool or ocean. While your friends are enjoying the 5-foot deep abyss of water, you are fighting for survival and basically drowning as you rapidly kick your arms and legs.
23. Your dreams of ever becoming a model will always be obliterated. In the modeling world, if you aren’t 5’7”, just go ahead and say goodbye to becoming the next Naomi Campbell or Kate Moss.
24. Your friends easily lose you in a crowd of people.
25. You aren’t able to see at concerts. You paid to see your favorite band not the back of someone’s head.
26. You are slightly afraid of big dogs. If they place a paw on you, you have a big chance of keeling over due to them being much bigger than you.
27. You are assumed to be a fan of the TLC show “Little People Big World.” Let me clarify for you all, just because it’s about little people does not mean we devote our lives to watching it. We do in fact like other television shows.
28. You avoid stepping into the department stores “petite” section because it is an all around disappointment. Do they really think all short people like to dress like an 80-year-old woman whose taste in clothing involve ugly pant suits and knee length skirts? No.
29. You wear heels but are still not as tall as your friends. I should just give up, right?
30. You get told about the scholarship awarded to those below 5 foot. This is no joke. Look it up.
No matter the height deficiency that we were blessed with and the difficulties we may go through, we are short and we are proud! Love every little inch of your miniature body because we all know the saying, “Great things come in small packages!”