Although the year is not over, I saw a Tik Tok the other day that said, “January me would be so shocked at what happened this year.” It really made me think about the past year so far and the little time left until the new year. The truth is that I feel like a completely different person than I was at the beginning of the year. Even though I am still changing, and will continue to change as a person, it is crazy to reflect and see how much you can change in a year. People have come and gone and new jobs, classes, and opportunities have arisen. It is important to remember that change is a good thing, even though it can be hard. Surrounding yourself with good people and staying true to yourself will make it all work out in the end.
When the year started, I was not ready for the roller coaster ahead. Some of the things that had been steady in my life were no longer working, and it seemed like I was stuck in a cycle. I knew in my heart that I needed to do what was best for me, but I was worried about hurting other people and all the pain that I would inflict on myself if I made that decision. Ultimately, the dreaded decision was made, and I chose myself. It was a difficult decision, and it was painful and hard for several months, but looking back at it now, I am so grateful that I chose myself because I have learned so much since then.
This is not the first time, nor will it be the last, that something like this has happened to me. Sometimes, decisions taken by myself or someone else can impact the dynamic of a relationship in a negative way, so sometimes change is the better option for everyone involved. The most conflicting feeling is when you know change is what is best for you, but other people do not agree. At the end of the day, I have come to realize that no one knows me better than myself, and therefore, only you will know what is best for you. Stick to that, and trust yourself, even if other people are telling you not to.
Another thing that I think is often not mentioned when we talk about change is how the whole world feels like it keeps going, but as Taylor Swift said, “I stayed there.” Change can make you feel like you are drowning, and you just want everything to stop so that you can breathe. Or, it can affect you in other ways. Maybe you are super tired because the time changed, or you are upset because there was a change in one of your classes. Whatever it may be, sometimes change can cause stressors in our lives that may not create the best emotions in our lives. Besides the drastic changes, sometimes I feel like it is the minor changes that build up to the worst outcomes, and I do not think that gets validated enough.
At the end of the day, some change is unsolicited and uncalled for but isn’t always bad. When I learned to transition from dreadful change with a more positive mindset, it helped me understand myself better and appreciate things more. It is not always easy, and sometimes in the moment, it is hard to see why change could be positive at all, but maybe later on it will start to become more evident.
Sometimes I feel like it is the minor changes that lead to the worst outcome, and I do not think that gets validated enough.
My biggest piece of advice as someone who has experienced constant change this year is to stay positive and try your best to put yourself first. Remember, change is not always a bad thing and it can serve as a learning experience, a lesson learned, and/or growth. So, take care of yourself and remember that in the end, maybe change is good.