A while ago I was scrolling through Tik Tok and came across this video titled “DO IT FOR THE GIRL WHO CAN’T.” The creator’s name is Natalie Marie (@nataliemarie.v) and she currently has over 58K followers. Her video began by talking about her being on a run where she came across another girl being pushed on a wheelchair. That is when she thought, “I am going to do it for the girl who can’t.” Natalie then talks about this girl who can’t and how she isn’t the only girl that has faced barriers in their lives. Natalie was also a girl who couldn’t. She couldn’t see the light at the end of the tunnel a year ago. A year ago she was broken up with and went through such hard times to find happiness and stability once again in her life. She couldn’t get up to eat or even have a glass of water. She couldn’t get past the pain or even imagine being happy ever again. Now she has bettered the past version of herself who couldn’t.
This video sparked something in me and I applied Natalie’s thinking into my current state of life. I would be lying if I said everything is all sunshine and rainbows on my end. I am coming up on attending mental health therapy for two straight years. I started going with the idea of “maybe if I fix everything my boyfriend doesn’t like about me he will stay with me this time and not leave again.” However he would break up with me and then come back, he did this multiple times. Each time I showed him all the unconditional love I could and he would still leave. This on and off situation went on for about two years.
I just wanted him to stop leaving.
So this is when I heal from the trauma left behind from that relationship. I will do it for that version of me, the one who fought for nearly two years for the man she loved the most.
I owe that version of me so much comfort and warmth now because she fought so hard and went through so much.
This was Wendy two years ago, this was someone who couldn’t. She thought she couldn’t do it and she couldn’t understand what was going on. She thinks happiness will never exist in her life ever again. She can’t see her situation from an outside perspective. She thinks it’s all her fault and wants to change her identity in hopes of keeping this man. She lies to her therapist. She falls for the “I love you’s” the “This time I am ready to give it my all,” the “Your old boy is back.”
But now, I am going to heal, I am going to learn more about myself as I go on, and I am going to show others in my situation that we will be okay.
I am going to do it for the girl who can’t.
