Sometimes it is hard to imagine myself as a college graduate; I am one semester away from earning a diploma and I don’t know how I feel.
I don’t love college, but I also don’t love living at home.
Graduation feels very finite; either move home or get a ‘big girl’ job.
I know that living at home does not certify me as a loser, but I feel like it’s time for me to grow up.
College has been a whole performance of imposter syndrome, and I am scared of what that means after I graduate.
It is a lot of pressure to say goodbye to this portion of my life and become independent both financially and emotionally.
I know that it is completely normal to be afraid of the next chapter, but why does it feel so categorical– job, marriage, kids, and then bam! You’re an old retiree.
Even if I decided to pursue grad school, I am met with the same societal pressures and expectations from everyone around me.
Anyway, I think we should normalize not having our shit together. It is exhausting always planning for the future, and trying to map out your life in a way that makes sense to everyone else.
So I am here to tell you, it is ok to not know what you are doing. I think one of the beauties in life is that people are just doing their best to fit in.
Whether I graduate today or in the next year I know everything will work itself out, despite my loathing for change.
I am lost in what I am supposed to do and be, but hopefully I am not alone. All of these uncomfortable feelings are some of the perfectly imperfect parts about being human.
I think it would be cool to be human together.
I think it would be cool to have these growing pains together.
I think it would be cool to just live in the moment together.