February is notoriously known for Valentine’s day. It is the month of love. The month of recognising those you care about. The month of eating chocolate on sale and buying flowers as we wait for spring to arrive with warmer, sunnier days. I’ve always loved Valentine’s day whether I’ve had a valentine or not as I think there’s something special to dedicating a day to recognise those and the things you love, including yourself.
Over the years of friendships and relationships, you have probably noticed that there are many different ways people express their love to one another and show affection. For example, you may have one friend that likes to bring a gift for you on a regular basis whether it’s an occasion or not. Whereas your other friend has never done that but they want to see you every day to hang out and do homework. It’s not that one friend is “better” than the other, but they have different love languages and express it in their own ways. The first friend expresses love through gift-giving, and the second friend expresses love through quality time.
Chapman’s five languages;
- Words of Affirmation – verbal acknowledgment of affection e.g. saying “I love you”
- Acts of Service – someone going out of their way to help you e.g. making soup for you when you are sick
- Receiving Gifts – visual symbols of love e.g. bringing home food
- Quality Time – spending time with one another e.g. going for a hike
- Physical Touch – physical signs of affection e.g. holding hands, cuddling
Out of these five love languages, we all have one or two that are more dominant than the others. If you are interested to learn about your love language you can take this free and easy quiz. When you receive the results you’ll see what your dominant languages are and learn how you like to give and receive love. If you have a partner, I suggest you encourage them to take it too or discuss the findings with them. A key part of any relationship is the ability to communicate clearly with one another. By both you and your partner understanding each other’s love languages better I believe it can make you stronger. No longer will it leave one feeling frustrated if they feel their love language isn’t being fulfilled in the relationship. If you want to learn more, I suggest visiting the official website for more resources including books, podcasts, and events.
Whatever your “month of love” may look like this year, take some time to learn about yourself and how you love to love.
