Identity formation, known in psychology as the process through which we form perceptions of ourselves and define who we are, isn’t easy. It isn’t just that our identities have different dimensions to them, but also that we are constantly changing. Sometimes, it can take years for us to discover, define, or redefine just one aspect. Other times, it can happen in a matter of days. As isolating as it can feel, though, identity formation is an experience we all share with each other. So why are we constantly trying to limit the ways in which we can express it?
When someone asks you who you are or requests that you describe yourself, it can be daunting to search for accurate vocabulary. At this exact moment, there are at least fifteen words I can think of to describe myself, and yet, I don’t feel like necessarily just one or two of them is enough to completely describe me. I’m Mexican, but I’m also American. I’m a college student, but I’m not first-generation. I’m a poet, but I’m also a musician, a singer, and a baker. I’m a daughter, a cousin, a niece, a granddaughter, and more. You can see how difficult it would be to answer a questionnaire that only gives three lines of space to write it all in.
Of course, it isn’t just that identity expression has its limitations; there are so many grey areas when it comes to the words we do (and don’t) use. For example, if I were to say that I was born in California, without even looking at me, someone could easily assume that I’m White. If I told them my grandparents were born in Mexico, however, they could just as easily assume that I was born there too. Oftentimes, we aren’t given the time or space to elaborate not just on who we are but on what makes us who we are. I’d argue that’s because there simply isn’t enough time or space to do that; we can only present ourselves as concisely as the person asking allows.
This brings me to one thing I have always noticed (and found annoying) throughout my educational career: student demographics. Have you ever taken a state test or filled out an application that asks about your race and ethnicity? They basically all do that for the sake of tracking general performance among different groups, but one thing that has always confused me is the way they ask for Hispanic and Latinx students’ identities. Oftentimes, the first question is whether or not we identify as Hispanic or Latino separate from the actual question about race, forcing many of us (including myself) to choose from categories such as ‘White,’ ‘American Indian,’ etc. This separation may not seem like a big deal, but I can’t tell you how many times I’ve had to question who I am when it comes to this question. While I acknowledge that I most likely have White, indigenous, Black, and/or other racial roots due to the history of colonization, I certainly don’t define myself as any of these categories.
You can see how limiting it really is to ask someone to describe themselves, both in conversation and in documentation. In the end, though, we are all constantly experiencing and expressing ourselves. However you inquire about someone’s identity, my one hope is that by becoming more aware of the limitations of language in conveying these aspects, you will be more open-minded about them. There are a lot of experiences, both good and bad, that go into forming our identities, so let’s celebrate the next time someone has the courage to share theirs with us.