Art students are few and far between (there is a grand total of four senior art majors) here at California Lutheran University. Perhaps that will change when we get our fancy new art building, but until then, here are some ways to identify the sparse creatives on campus.
You might be an art student if…
1.    Your hands are often not their original color, and you’ve been asked if you cut yourself and answered, “What? Oh! That’s just paint.”
2.    You carry more than your weight to class each day. What’s that? I have a dislocated shoulder? That would be because of my art supplies.
Vincent Van Gogh, Wikimedia
3.    You get excited at the beginning of the semester when you don’t have any textbooks to buy… until you see the cost of supplies.
What do you mean that small tube of paint costs $50? And how many does the syllabus say I need?
4.    Finals means late hours at the studio to complete all that work that you put off till the last minute. Really late hours. Oh, and you still have to study for tests in your core classes, too.Â
5.    You live off a strange mix of coffee and vending machine snacks. Mostly caffeine.
6.    You’ve gotten concerned looks from people when you tell them your major.
And you’ve been told more than once that your future isn’t bright. And you’ve probably heard a flipping burger joke more than once, also.
7.    You are all too familiar with BSing art critiques.
Yes, this white stroke represents the desire for purity while struggling with the reality of a culturally oppressive society and the ink drawing is incomplete because it’s a a commentary on the artist’s hopes that can never be realized.
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8.    Nakedness doesn’t bother you anymore. It’s just a penis, guys.
Leonardo Da Vinci, Wikimedia
9.    You know the pain of hearing someone look at a piece of art and say “I could have done that” or worse, “a child could have done that.”
10. Still, you do not understand modern art. Duchamp? Really? Can we stop using him as an example when we start *every* art class ever discussing how to define art?
Duchamp? More like Da-Dump.
11. When people misunderstand that art majors don’t just draw stuff to get a degree.
Sure I just draw stuff, if you don’t include the art history, philosophy, political context, professionalism, business management, and curation. I totally just draw puppies all day.
12. You wouldn’t change your major for the world and you know you’re going to be completely successful in everything you do.Â