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For the whole month of June, I pondered what it would feel like once I turned 20. Now, a whopping 2-decades old, I’ve realized that nothing’s changed, except maybe my mindset on this whole “twenties” situation. I won’t claim that on my 20th birthday I got up and ran into some wall of wisdom, but after spending some time reflecting, here’s 20 things I learned after turning 20.
1. Health Needs To Be A Priority
Sure, self care and journaling is popular within our generation, but with the “Sleep When You’re Dead” mentality that sometimes seeps into the brains of college students, our health hardly stands a chance. Last Spring, after some health issues required my attention, I realized that taking time to slow down and prioritize my health was the only way I’d get through the academic quarter. Even if it means missing out on hang-outs, classes, or parties, listening to and taking care of your body is so important.
2. Food Is Fuel
In my second year of college, living off-campus without a Cal Poly Meal Plan proved to be a bit tougher than I expected. It wasn’t that I couldn’t differentiate between Oreos and vegetables, but I needed to reallocate my time to make sure I was well fed. Grocery shopping, washing produce, preparing meals, and cleaning dishes afterwards took a lot more time than I had first expected. While it was easy for me to make excuses for why I was too busy for all of that, I realized that at the end of the day it’s important for me to eat something. So, whether I made time on the weekends to meal-prep, scrambled to fry an egg before my 8am class, or decided after working on a Final Paper all day that all I had in me was to microwave a frozen meal from Trader Joe’s, I decided that food would never be something that I overlooked. I definitely have goals to improve my cooking and learn how to eat healthier, but being a student is hard work and we need to replenish our bodies in whatever way we can.
3. You Can Have Fun While Sober
I know, some of you will throw your hands up at this one (either saying it’s obvious or completely impossible), but it’s true! While it’s fun to get tipsy or a little high at an occasional weekend party, it’s important not to let yourself believe that you can only have fun under the influence. If you want to stay sober for an event, then you should– no one’s going to point and laugh at you for saying “no” –and if they do, then, you should go to better parties with nicer people. This year, I remembered that parties don’t always have to be about going crazy and over-indulging in substances, but instead about having fun with your friends and getting to make new ones. Having fun while sober doesn’t have to be an all-the-time thing either: you can go to a party one weekend and celebrate however you want (so long as you’re being safe and responsible) and decide, next time you want to be sober at the party; you don’t have to make a choice to “be sober” forever just because you want to be sober for an event. With this being said, I like to take the time to reflect on what I actually consider to be “fun” at parties and see how drugs and alcohol play into my idea of that.
4. Wear Sunscreen
TikTok is telling you to do it. Your dermatologist has been telling you to do it. Just do it, okay? I’m sure there’s several studies I could cite when saying this, but at this point, wearing sunscreen is just a good idea all around in avoiding harmful UV Rays and skin cancer. Plus, why spend hundreds of dollars on fancy skin-care brands if you’re not going to protect your skin when you go out in the sun? I know that as I get older, I don’t necessarily want my years to show on my face, so I plan on continuing to wear sunscreen even after my 20’s.
5. Clothes Are Meant To Fit You, Not The Other Way Around
As a now-20-year-old, who’s no longer participating in organized sports or staying as active as I used to, I feel that I’m more aware of how my clothes fit me, especially as my weight fluctuates throughout the year. However, I am a firm believer that clothes are meant to fit you, so you’ll never catch me trying to fit into a pair of jeans that are 2 sizes too small, just because they fit me a month ago. After working in retail for some time I realized how easily you can be sucked into the mindset of “staying the same size,” but as an avid thrifter I know just how easy and cheap it can be to find more clothes that fit you if you outgrow them. As a woman, I understand how often our weight fluctuates and how expensive clothes can be, but when you remember that you are not meant to “fit” yourself into clothes, and instead search for clothes that fit you and make you feel good, that’s when you start living.
6. Don’t Settle For Sh*tty Men
I feel like this is self-explanatory, but since I had to come to realize this, too: you deserve to date someone who will exceed all of your expectations, encourage you to pursue your interests, and support you in all of your endeavors. Like, DUH! Let’s all hold ourselves to this.
7. Making Friends Doesn’t Get Any Easier
I struggled to make quality friends in high school, and though adults would encourage me that “it gets easier in college,” I learned that wasn’t exactly true. After finishing my second year at Cal Poly, I’m sorry to say that making friends doesn’t get easier. Sure, living in the dorms, taking more major-focused classes, and getting involved with clubs and the community definitely helps you meet people, but taking that extra step to connect with others on a deeper level can still be a challenge. With this being said, I encourage everyone to challenge themselves to take that jump and make friends out of classmates, neighbors, and acquaintances because putting in that effort always helps.
8. Keep In Touch With Old Friends
After that last point, this may seem obvious, but it’s important to keep in touch with old friends, especially if they are quality people that enrich your life. Though your college studies may be draining, you’ll always have the time to send a text, make a phone-call, or schedule a date for the next time you want to link up with your old friends. Taking the time to nurture meaningful friendships will ensure lasting, quality friendship for the future.
9. Don’t Room With Your Friends
For some people, living with your friends can be a dream, but for others, it can ruin a friendship. Now, it’s not always this drastic, but when having to discuss rental fees, chore schedules, and general boundaries, it might just be easier to do this with someone you don’t already have an established relationship with, as these dynamics are bound to change when living in such close proximity. Regardless of how you knew your roommate before, communication is key, so keep openly communicating and stay open minded.
10. A School-Life Balance Is Vital
When I was younger, I was always encouraged to take the most Honors or AP classes while balancing countless extracurriculars. Now, living on my own, I’ve learned that I’m actually able to dedicate more of my attention to less things in a way that results in more quality work and experiences. This also allows me to make sure that I’m doing well in my classes and taking care of my health, relationships, and nurturing my hobbies. Though I am going to a 4-year college, it’s important for me to lead my life as a person first, and find a balance with being a student also.
11. Take Time In Your Day To Have Fun
I am so lucky that I live in California, specifically in San Luis Obispo, where there is always something to do every day. I find that taking breaks is essential to my college experience, and when I plan appropriately, I actually have time in my day to do something fun. Whether it’s going for a hike, journaling at a park, going surfing, thrifting or getting lunch downtown with a friend, there’s so much to do in SLO that can take up as much or as little time in my day as I want to allot. This year, I’ve found that when I make time on, say, a random Wednesday to go on a little adventure, it brings so much joy to my life. Find the little adventures around you!
12. Use A Planner
Use a calendar–use two! I swear by my calendars and planners–both physical and on my phone–to keep me on track. Being able to visualize my time in the day helps me prioritize and schedule my events down to the minute. Every Sunday, I like to take the time to plug in my hang-outs, dates, and special events before the week starts and I feel like I’m scrambling to write things down as they arise. I use Google Calendar on my phone to set reminders for things like class, appointments, and big events, too. I would be nowhere if it wasn’t for my planner. And if you’re wondering, my planner from Ban.do Designs is my favorite, and you can find it at Barnes & Noble!
13. Use Your Resources As A College Student
Recently, I’ve become aware of the multitude of resources available to college students, and especially at Cal Poly, if you need help, there is someone that can help you. Whether you need to schedule tutoring at The Writing and Learning Center, apply for CalFresh online, visit the campus Food Pantry for snacks and supplies, self-order an STI test, or schedule for counseling, Cal Poly has an abundance of resources just waiting for students to take advantage of them. College is hard, and there is no shame in asking for help and using what resources are available to you.
14. It’s Okay To Skip Class (Sometimes)
I used to be a stickler about going to class everyday and having perfect attendance… until I realized that some teachers don’t care about attendance, so long as you’re meeting assignment deadlines with quality work. Sure, most of my classes require perfect attendance, but some of my larger lecture-based classes don’t. After weeks of losing sleep over one class’ assignments, and desperately needing more time to work on other assignments– or just take a nap– I realized that sometimes the best use of my time was to skip a class, get notes from a friend, review the slides online, and use that 2-hour window for something that fit into my day a little better. Don’t let this become a habit, as it’s still important to go to class, but don’t feel bad if you have to miss class in order to set yourself up for success.
15. Seek To Understand
Although I know I’ll never know exactly what’s going through someone’s mind, encouraging myself to constantly seek to understand has helped me tremendously in life. This little bit of empathy and effort has helped me be able to go beyond someone’s actions and words to get a more full understanding of what they may be going through, in order to better understand their perspective. It’s important to realize, though, that no matter how much we seek to understand, we are not responsible for knowing what’s going on in other people’s heads. In all instances, this mindfulness exercise has helped me grow my patience and empathy for all people, and when in doubt, ask them!
16. Do Things That Scare You
I adopted this mindset at the beginning of one quarter in college, and it’s been a challenge I’ve enjoyed ever since. Doing things that scared me was a good way to mix-up the mundane routine in my life and add a bit of spontaneity to my days. When I found that something scared me in the moment, I immediately took the time to explore the root of the feeling and ask myself why I feared it; then, after considering whether or not the action was doable, reasonable, and safe, I would usually have more confidence to persuade myself to actually do the thing! Starting small, I would raise my hand more in class, introduce myself first to those sitting around me in new courses, which grew to making small talk at the grocery store, asking new friends to get coffee, and even going on a weekend trip with my friend. So, when you’re ready, consider what things scare you and if you should do them.
17. Don’t Do Things Just Because People Want You To
Again, I fear this one may sound obvious in itself, but when putting this into practice, it may feel a bit daunting. This year, I’ve been juggling all kinds of roles and dynamics, and when it came to feel like too much, I had to prioritize myself. That’s when I realized that I was doing things just because I felt like people wanted me to, not because I wanted to be doing them. My college life is too busy to be spending time doing things that I don’t want to be doing, and though this might sound selfish, it’s my life, and I’d rather spend my time doing things I love.
18. Don’t Take Things Too Seriously
Something I constantly have to remind myself of: life is too great to be taken too seriously! It’s important to let yourself laugh, smile, love, dance, and mess up, even if it feels counterproductive; what even is “productive” when it comes to living your life? Really, it’s important to have goals and hold yourself to them, but when you make a mistake or have a silly interaction, don’t be so quick to scold yourself, and instead, let yourself laugh.
19. Be Patient With Yourself
This goes hand-in-hand with my last point, but as a 20 year old, it’s important to me to know that I’m growing, learning, and maturing in the only way I can and I can’t change or rush that! Patience is a new skill I’ve learned over the years, and I realized this year that it’s just as important to be patient with myself, as well as others.
20. Be Genuinely You
The most important thing I’ve learned after turning 20, and the last thing I want to leave you with, is to always be genuinely yourself. I believe that learning to live your life in a way that is the most truthful to yourself is the only way to live. Allow yourself to be authentically yourself, and others will have the privilege of getting to know that version of you.