If I could somehow, someday be half the woman my mother is, I would consider my life a success. Her compassion, strength and unwavering patience are truly admirable. The older I get, the more I’ve come to value and appreciate her advice. I could fill an entire book with the wisdom she’s shared with me over the past 19 years. What once felt like overprotective lectures or unsolicited opinions has become the foundation of how I think and perceive life. The three lessons I’m about to share are interconnected principles that have shaped the way I approach life. They’ve guided me toward a deeper understanding of myself and others and I hope they can offer you the same sense of clarity.
Your Happiness Is Your Responsibility
Our happiness is not defined by the perfect job, relationship or circumstance. As easy as it is to temporarily reduce the stress of our lives by filling our time with these things, ultimately they will not be the key to sustainable happiness. Things don’t always go as planned, relationships fail and feelings change, but this does not mean your happiness has to go along with them. You have the power to choose how to respond and to find good in every situation. Of course, it is easier said than done, but it is comforting to know that even when life gets tough, you can move forward knowing that happiness isn’t something you have to wait for – it’s something you can build, over and over again, no matter what.
Projection
Remember when you broke up with your boyfriend because you thought he was “unreliable”, but in reality, you were just struggling with your own tendency to overcommit, well that is what is called projecting. We all project, the good and the bad, and it’s important to be aware of this so we don’t let these unconscious reflections control our experiences. When we aren’t mindful of projection, we risk ruining opportunities, relationships or moments of joy by seeing them through the distorted lens of our own fears, insecurities or unmet expectations. Likewise, the admiration we feel toward others often reveals qualities we possess, but may not yet fully recognize within ourselves. Being aware of projection allows us to step back, reflect, and ask ourselves: What does this situation say about me? Am I frustrated because they let me down or because they reflect a part of myself I struggle to accept? Am I drawn to this person because they mirror strengths I haven’t owned yet? By learning to recognize projection, we give ourselves the freedom to respond to life with clarity, compassion and grace. The more conscious we are of our projections, the less likely we are to let them sabotage our happiness or distort the way we engage with the world. Everything we see, good or bad, is a reflection of what’s inside and the better we understand it, the more peace we’ll find within ourselves.
Saying How You Feel Will Never Ruin A Real Connection
Honest communication will never be the reason a real connection falls apart – whether it’s with a partner, friend or anyone meaningful in your life. It’s easy to worry that sharing your feelings, especially the hard ones like fear, insecurity or frustration, might push someone away. The truth is, real relationships can hold space for difficult conversations. When you share how you feel, you invite authenticity into the relationship. The right people will listen, not judge, and try to understand, even if it’s not easy. If someone leaves because you were honest, that only shows how shallow the relationship truly was. A relationship that requires you to silence yourself, suppress emotions or pretend everything’s fine isn’t sustainable and it’s not the kind of relationship any of us deserve. It’s okay if speaking up feels uncomfortable at first; vulnerability takes courage. The people who truly care about you will appreciate your honesty, and be grateful for the trust you’ve placed in them. In the end, real connections grow stronger through truth, not avoidance. If someone values you, expressing how you feel won’t push them away – it will only bring you closer.
In the end, the greatest gift my mom has given me is the understanding that life is built on the choices we make, how we choose to find happiness within, the importance of reflecting honestly on ourselves and the value of connecting openly with others.These lessons aren’t just advice, but tools for living authentically and wholeheartedly. The more I lean into them, the more I realize that life isn’t about having it all figured out, it’s about embracing the mess with clarity, courage and compassion. For that, I’ll always be grateful to her.
Thanks Mom,
Reily