The change from high school to one of the most prestigious colleges on the West Coast was intense. In the short time of 8 weeks, I have learned about myself. I have learned new coping strategies and how to get myself out of tough situations. I have learned that keeping true to yourself and navigating this new lifestyle is going to bring so many obstacles and bumps in the road. I’m only a first-year here at Cal Poly, so I can only speak about my experience but I think these struggles are a common theme with students attending college. These are things I have struggled with and how I got myself out of the low parts of life.Â
Remember Why You Are Here
I have recently had to remind myself of this. I am here for an education, and everything fun comes second. I think a lot of people have this problem but in reverse. So, if studying too much and not taking time for yourself is you, don’t listen to this. In high school, school wasn’t the center of my life. Of course, I got good grades and was involved in many extracurriculars. Yet, I was never fully immersed in school. I had plenty of weekends out and late nights, and I prioritized experiencing high school a lot. Coming to Cal Poly, I thought I could do the same thing:skipp class when I felt like it, go out on the weekends instead of doing some much-needed studying, and kind of just coast through classes. I am only a freshman going into my second quarter soon, but I figured out this lifestyle wasn’t going to work in the long run. For me, it was really easy to fall into the “fun” lifestyle of college. I think everyone would much prefer going shopping downtown instead of studying for a midterm. However, education is why we are all here; if your parents are helping you pay, or you’re getting financial aid, or you’re pushing through college on your funds, failing classes isn’t fun, and for me, not a possibility I am letting myself fall into. What has been helping me to remember to get my stuff done before going out is thinking of what my mom would say if I told her I was only taking 4 classes and ended up failing one. Believe it or not, TikTok has also given me so much motivation. One post I saw said something along the lines of “You don’t have to do your homework, you GET to do your homework.” It got me feeling appreciative of getting to go to school and receive an education, which is what some people dream of getting the opportunity to do.Â
Who You Spend Time With Matters
Throughout high school, I went through phases where I spent time with people who didn’t allow me to be myself. I was kind of a pushover and did whatever the group was doing. I also went to many summer camps during high school, and I was always the girl who didn’t talk unless she had to,even though my closest friends and my mom know I am the kind of girl who doesn’t know when to stop talking. I think it was out of shyness that I never would speak up or let my voice be heard in certain situations. Coming into college, I promised myself I wouldn’t let my inner thoughts get the best of me, and I would be myself to the fullest extent. I wasn’t going to be the girl who didn’t talk or socialize with new people. I am blessed with the roommates I have because they allow me to be myself. At the beginning of the quarter, I was hanging out with people who would want to go out every weekend, and that’s not bad, but it has never been my cup of tea—especially considering my struggle with focusing and prioritizing my classes. When hanging around those people, I felt like I fell into a trap of just getting through the week—to get to the weekend. I have since realized this isn’t the college lifestyle I need. Now, I feel like I have a pretty balanced life. I go out some weekends, I go on beach trips, shopping, do lots of homework, and study. I think I’ve found the perfect medium for me. So, surrounding yourself with people who understand that you don’t want to go out every weekend, but also that you can’t make every study session is very key. Luckily, my roommates are always down for anything—going out, going to the beach, staying in and doing a movie night, or just going to the study room to lock in for a few hours.Â
Homesickness is Real
For me, being homesick was one of my biggest worries coming to college. I am extremely close to my mom; I consider her my bestie. I was so worried about how I would feel coming to SLO and getting to do all these cool things, but not having her by my side. Long story short, I had a full mental breakdown the second week after coming here. I was sitting in my car, on the phone with my mom, begging her to let me come home. I was a mess. All she had to say was that it was going to get better. At the moment I didn’t believe her, but now I do. I’ve been here for only 8 weeks now, but I get homesick less and less. I’ve learned that it’s important to surround yourself with people who feel like home. That’s been the biggest key to all of this for me. I call my mom enough, but I’m not on the phone with her 24/7, even though sometimes I wish I could be. I like calling her after my classes or giving her the scoop on the latest floor drama. I think being homesick is something ALL freshmen have trouble with, but it’s important to know that it does get better and there is light at the end of the tunnel. In my first couple weeks, I wanted to drive myself all the way back to my hometown and stay there. Now, I am excited for what the future holds, and everything I am capable of doing. It also keeps me in check, how lucky I am to be homesick, and how lucky I am to have someone I miss so much. Perspective is always key.Â
Change is so scary and can be difficult to navigate without much guidance. Finding community is so important, spending time with people you can be vulnerable with, is important. As college students, we are able to make our own decisions, and make mistakes, and then we get to learn and grow from them. The beauty of college is that there are so many different kinds of people here and everyone can find their own group. Everyone is experiencing college for the first time, even fourth years—it’s important to keep in mind that many people are having the same struggles as you, and you are never alone.