Whether we want to admit it or not, we all live for love. As dramatic as it sounds, it is the sad truth.
Our daily lives are flooded with love thanks to pop culture; take the radio for example—probably around nine out of ten songs have to do with falling in or out of love. Or television—not only do some of the most popular films feature love as a prevailing theme, but we are constantly bombarded with celebrity gossip on who’s dating or not, making babies—the whole nine yards.
Many of you have probably come across the article on Elite Daily titled, “The Hook-Up Culture: How an Entire Generation Forgot How to Actually Date Someone.” Like any average eighteen year old, I too scrolled past it while procrastinating on Facebook. Initially, I sort of rolled my eyes at the topic. I’ve always been an advocate of the “you do you” motto: if hooking up rather than being in a stable relationship is what is satisfying, then who am I to judge—right? It’s not my body or my decision.
Well, unfortunately, as I read through this article, I sadly started to realize that most of the points were true.
It is undeniable that college is one of the most selfish times of our lives—we literally live to study and ensure a successful future and career. So, naturally, we shove love to the side. But it is equally as inevitable that we will still constantly be concerned about a significant other and unconsciously or maybe even consciously desire the presence of love in our lives.
Combine all of these factors and I suppose the answer is simple—the hook-up culture.
The most unfortunate part of this concept is that it has become more common to have a “friend with benefits” rather than a lasting, healthy relationship. I think a large part of this has to with the sense of entitlement that people have developed. Instead of building a foundation and friendship with someone, we turn to hooking up with someone in hopes that it will turn into something more.
The other issue with this concept is that the term “hooking up” is so vague and everyone has his or her own definition of what it actually means. To some, it may just mean making out while to others it could mean having sex. So this weird complex develops where people casually mention “hooking up” and unless specified, no one really knows exactly what they mean.
This causes people to believe that they have to have these hookups to be socially acceptable. In fact, I would even argue that, while in college, it is more socially unacceptable to be a virgin than to not be.
We have fallen into a rut where we have a sort of independence being “single” but still just hooking up with people. But the problem is that we are still attached to whomever the “hook up” is because of human instinct. When we are vulnerable with people, it causes us to become attached to at least some extent.
Furthermore, it becomes scarier and scarier to commit to someone when it is now acceptable to just casually “hook up” rather than get hurt. But in the end, we all know this “friends with benefits” situation never really works out.
The best way I can conclude my thoughts on this phenomenon is this—my parents were college sweethearts. Naturally, I had always envisioned myself following a similar path when it comes to my future husband. But now, being a college student and having been in a few different relationships, I do not know if I can say the same. The truth is, I really don’t know how I will meet my future husband. Part of me has even lost faith in finding a love that strong because of this way we show our affection for one another nowadays.
Like I said, I do not necessarily see anything wrong with the act of hooking up—not my body, not my decisions. But I do think that our generation needs to, at some point, realize that we cannot use people to either block or evoke certain emotions in us. We need to do away with the idea that we can just “hook-up” to enjoy being single and learn to act upon the emotions we feel.