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What To Do When Your Friend Says She’s Suicidal

This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at Cal Poly chapter.

Everyone feels sad, depressed, or angry sometimes—especially under the pressures of school, friends and family. Some people may feel sadness or hopelessness that just won’t go away, and even small problems may seem like a lot to handle for them.

There is no easy way to say it; suicide is a very serious and prevalent matter. When a friend of yours communicates suicidal thoughts to you, you may not feel equipped to handle the situation properly, but the truth of the matter is, you are. It is important to remember that you are not alone. Through utilizing campus resources and trusting your intuition, you can handle the situation effectively.

Hannah Roberts, a coordinator of campus wellbeing at Cal Poly, identifies a few key changes in behavior that can help determine if a person is suicidal. They include the following:

  •  Person seems more depressed or anxious than previously
  • Spends time by themselves frequently
  • Not attending classes
  • Difficulty getting up in the morning
  • Overall feeling of hopelessness or helplessness
  • Not feeling like they have options for their future
  • Recently experienced a major trauma or major life change

“If there is something you’re worried about with a friend or family member, just ask,” Roberts said. “If you ever see something that is unusual for a person, say something and don’t ignore it or leave them alone.”

In a situation that is immediate, meaning that your friend is adamant on going forward with suicide, Roberts advises to first and foremost call 9-1-1.

“Start with safety first,” she said.

Secondly, talk to your friend. Tell them you are worried about them and you care about them. Put it in the context of, “I care about you.”

Thirdly, offer them options. Whether that be the counseling services or the hospital (for urgent situations), involve some support.

“If you’re in the dorms, involve the CSD. Make sure you’re not leaving them alone with this hopelessness,” Roberts said.

Engage a professional. That way you are not leaving yourself as the only person taking care of them. It is crucial to reach out for support. You are helping them more by contacting other sources.

Lastly, provide a safe haven. You are not meant to be their therapist—you are meant to be their friend. Remind them of why they are such an important friend to you.

“Give them hope,” Roberts said. “Remind them of things you value about them and make sure that your there for them.”

Overall, Cal Poly Counseling Services encourages following 3 simple steps when faced with a suicide situation: see something, say something, do something. The video can be found here.

If you are interested in training pertaining to suicide prevention, there are three programs available on campus.

1. Question, Persuade, Refer (QPR)

QPR is the most basic training. It teaches you how to notice the signs of suicide and how to direct the person to the right resources. It is available for students, faculty and staff.

2. Mental Health First Aid (MHFA)

MHFA is an eight-hour training pertaining to first aid approach. It focuses on emotional distress such as depression, anxiety and further- suicide. There is two trainings this coming December.

3. Applied Suicide Intervention Skills Training (ASIST)

ASIST is a two-day, 16-hour program. It is a more in depth training of topics discussed in QPR.

 

There are a lot of great resources on campus to support you and those around you. Don’t feel that it is your responsibility to solve the problem on your own. Be there for someone and instill hope. You are stronger than you think. Further, you are capable of making a difference through providing support and contacting a professional. 

Samantha is a second year journalism student at Cal Poly. On campus, she is a staff writer for the Mustang News, editor for Her Campus Cal Poly, a board member on the American Marketing Association and plays intramural soccer. She loves to write, wear pajamas and re-watch episodes of The Office on Netflix. She aspires to have a career in broadcast journalism or law and hopes to someday travel around the world.
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Aja Frost

Cal Poly

Aja Frost is a college junior living in San Luis Obispo, California. She is equally addicted to good books and froyo, and considers the combo of the two the best since pb & b (peanut butter and banana.) Aja has been published on the Huffington Post, USA Today College, Newsweek, The Daily Muse, xoJane, and Bustle, among other publications. Follow her on Twitter: @ajavuu