Awards You’re Trying To Win That Don’t Exist

It’s as simple as this: I don’t like competition. It’s not like challenging yourself or proving yourself to others about something isn’t meaningful, but when things begin to be viewed as a comparison amongst peers, such as success in life (which is subjective), the personal aspect of the experience gets lost in the noise. Whether it’s on social media, in our careers, or even in our personal lives, many people make it feel like they’re almost competing with us for awards that don’t inherently exist. Society has always imposed certain standards of success, that if we don’t meet we would be considered less “successful” instead of just living our lives in a way that works for us. These awards are often something we don’t think about, and they can be rather toxic to our own mental health and hostile to how we treat others.  

The “Most Balanced and Productive Perfectionist” Award

According to The Michigan Daily, author Moyer states how the app Linkedin, unlike other social media platforms, “masks its toxicity under a guise of ‘professionalism’ and ‘executive development’” (Moyer, LinkedIn is the worst form of social media: Here’s why). LinkedIn’s toxicity fosters from users who constantly compare their career progress to others’ success. But what even is success? For some, success might be wealth or financial stability, while for others it could be travel and creativity. So who is to say what is right and wrong in a work-life balance? The exhausting burden of career ambitions while having societal expectations around marriage and family also create the notion of balancing careers (fulfilling traditional roles as caregivers and raising a family after marriage) which creates a whole new set of challenges within itself! Hence, these societal pressures in career driven goals and personal lives blend together to make people outdo each other in the standards of success, even though it is arbitrary to chase down forms of success that don’t capture the full depiction of a person’s life and value.

“I’m Doing Better and Having More Fun Than You” Award

Everyday people feel compelled to share their lives online in ways that highlight memorable achievements. But in doing so, there is an expectation to appear more glamorous than life may truly be, often posting pictures from parties, trips, vacations, and other things in order to provoke a reality that isn’t definitive of success. This behavior is particularly evident after life events like breakups, where individuals try to assert their independence, provoke jealousy, and attention in their ex-partners. In this case, the goal isn’t about sharing personal joy anymore, it’s a form of passive-aggressive communication that contributes to one’s self-worth through the validation from others.

A topic of conversation surrounding the internet has been about Hailey Bieber’s social media presence, especially in relation to her husband’s ex-girlfriend, Selena Gomez. Many have pointed out that Bieber’s posts have seemed to be designed to either fuel the rivalry with Gomez, or assert her self-worth with Justin Bieber. Even though being married to him, it is clear that their public perception together has taken over their actual relationship, thus demonstrating how social media can become performative of self-worth in the public eye. Whether intentional or not, it sparks the idea about how people use social media not only to seek attention and approval from others, but also as a comparison to compete against others at the same time. This dangerous and subtle competition can ultimately be unfulfilling, as seeking gratification won’t ever feel enough and it’ll be harder to find real authenticity within themselves. All in all, measuring your success based on how much more you’re achieving than others will end you in a rabbit hole of feeling never good enough rather than doing things for your own personal growth and happiness. It sparks the idea about how people use social media not only to seek attention and approval for themselves, but also as comparison to others. 

Defining What “Winning” Looks Like to You

Success is not a competition; it’s a personal journey. Learning to embrace your uniqueness without feeling the need to compare yourself to anyone else can combat this unspoken competition. Even if it’s not what societal standards uphold, we can embrace authentic success by celebrating what is deeply meaningful to us, which could be achieving career milestones, building relationships, dedication to pursuing creative endeavors, or all of the above. Regardless, it’s important to recognize that trying to fit into societal molds through comparison like a competition will only lead to dissatisfaction. The only “competition” we really should be in is the one against our own limitations, striving to be better versions of ourselves for ourselves, not for someone else.

• #social media
• Corporate Environment
• mental health