The time has finally come… my very last semester of my four year stay at Chico State. Preparing to graduate comes with so many different feelings– anxiety, excitement, readiness, fear. It’s almost like I’ve started grieving my old self, and preparing for the new person that I am ready to become.
Growing up, college was something that I always knew I wanted to pursue. But, I was never super passionate about it, and honestly, Chico was not my top choice. I wanted to go out of state to Washington, and I got into the college that I applied for up there. Nevertheless, plans changed, life happened, and I wound up at the very beautiful campus where I am today. My college experience was not normal at best. I moved up here, moved home, commuted, and now I’ve spent the past two years here. I had a very hard time adjusting and finding my place. I was very lost, confused, lonely, anxious, and depressed during the first two years of my college experience. This was super discouraging and I really struggled finding myself and finding where I was supposed to be.
Being here, I have learned so much. I have learned so much about myself, so much about things I am passionate about, so much about life. While the social scene and self development has been really eye-opening (and a learning experience) for me, I have also learned so much about my coursework. I accomplished things that I never thought I would. I changed the standards that I hold myself too, and I have my college professors to thank for that.
I haven’t really reflected on my time here until writing this piece, and even though I say I can’t wait to leave, I know that I am going to miss it so much. Being at this crazy college has taught me about who I want to be, and helped me achieve that. So much growth happens in a typical college timeline. You are forced to grow up, make choices, and be a part of things that you haven’t before.
This experience has just been so heartfelt for me. I fell in love with reading and writing here. I fell in love with my boyfriend here. I met my bestest friends here. I fell in love with the communities that I am in, and the people within them. I fell in love with this town’s beautiful trees and amazing food spots. And now, I have to begin to get ready to leave here. While I feel ready to close this chapter and move onto my next, I can’t help but feel nostalgic and reminiscent of the life that I have built here. The memories that I have made here are so difficult to say goodbye to, and I get goosebumps thinking about some of those memories.
I am SO excited for this next chapter of my life. But for the next five months, I’m going to make the most of my time remaining in Chico. How this will be, or go for me, I don’t know, but I’m looking forward to five more months of incredible college memories. Time really flies by so fast, I literally feel like an 18 year old still, going to Target with my sister to buy things for my first apartment in the dry Chico summer heat. I have grown up here. Chico really is such a great place for learning, not just an education but about yourself.