Whether you’re in the dorms, in an apartment, or in a townhouse; living with a roommate is almost inevitable in college. For many people, their roommate becomes one of their closest friends on campus, but for others that’s not always the case. I’m sure you have heard roommate horror stories, maybe experienced a bad roommate, or even been the “crazy roommate”. Yet, a lot of problems that arise throughout the year are born from one inherent issue: lack of communication. Boundaries are important to keep your shared space a happy place. So… how do you set and keep them?Â
Let’s talk about it!
Sleep Schedules
This is mainly for if you and your roommate share a room, such as a dorm or a large bedroom in an apartment/house. Most likely, your sleep schedules are going to be different based on your classes or how much sleep you need/like in general.Â
Between everyone in the shared space, have a discussion hitting all these points:Â
- When you usually go to sleep
- When you wake up
- How many alarms you typically set
- If you’re a heavy or light sleeper
Whether you and your roommate need to compromise is up to you, but this could prevent built up resentment from being woken up at 6 AM with no warning.
Cleanliness
College, for many people, is the first time living on your own. Mom and dad aren’t around to do your laundry, cook you dinners, and the biggest one – force you to clean your room. Though, it is vital to lay down expectations in terms of keeping the room/area clean with your roommate.Â
Remember, it is a shared space.Â
Assign chores regarding communal areas to each roommate, such as taking out the trash, dusting, vacuuming, cleaning the bathroom, etc..
When it comes to your own mess (your dishes, your desk, and your bed), try to motivate yourself in cleaning. No one is going to have a spotless room at all times, but it is also an expectation that you consider other people around you. If you’re struggling, don’t be afraid to communicate with your roommate so they are aware and can understand.
This all keeps both a routine with everyone in the space and a clean living area!Â
Noise
You don’t realize how much noise you make on a daily basis until you’re forced to share a room with a stranger: playing music out loud while getting ready, talking on facetime with your phone on speaker, watching movies and tv shows with the volume up, and so much more that you are used to doing in your own room alone.
Yet, unless given an OK by your roommate, most of this stuff is a no-go when living and sharing a room with another person. Of course, through conversation, you can create boundaries and rules when it comes to noise.Â
For example, my roommate and I have discussed that we don’t mind the other person being on the phone, playing soft music, etc., but if one of us is trying to do work or study we either keep quiet or go in the living room.Â
Visitors
You have friends.
Your roommate has friends.Â
No doubt, you’ll have people come and go through your space.
That’s not to say you have to agree with people you don’t know visiting your place all day every day. Balance and communication is key. Always let your roommate know when you have people visiting before they come over, and hold the same expectations for your roommate.
This gives both you and your roommate the ability to prepare for a guest or let each other know you’re not comfortable with a visitor at the time and work out a compromise.Â
In addition, when you’re the host, make sure all your guests respect your roommate and their space. Don’t let them sit on your roommate’s bed or chair (unless given permission), and don’t let them touch your roommate’s personal belongings.
Now with all this said, college is a learning experience. You’ll probably have a fight with your roommate or you might not. At some point you’ll forget to do your dishes or leave old food on your desk. No one is perfect, including you. That’s why, at the root of everything, just communicate.