Like many others, I have experienced many hardships in life. In these events, I have felt many uncomfortable emotions: fear, sadness, anxiety, vulnerability. Being vulnerable is something that as humans we struggle with. Being vulnerable often comes into play with other emotions. It is admitting that you’re struggling or that you’re wrong. It is asking for help. Putting yourself out there even though you are uncomfortable with what the outcome may be. And that to me, is the hardest thing you can do as a human being.Â
Now I’m going to be vulnerable and talk about a topic I don’t really like talking about. Getting back together with my ex. My current boyfriend and I broke up, and now are back together. Now, I know it sounds silly that this is my most vulnerable moment, but I am someone that has a hard time opening up to people in general. My boyfriend of (almost) three years and I broke up the summer before going to Chico. How ironic huh, a couple breaking up even though they are going to the same college. Now, my most vulnerable moment in the break up was breaking no contact (again I know it sounds silly) but it was me being so heartbroken that no matter what the reason was on why he broke up with me, I was willing to do ANYTHING to stay together. It was me putting my feelings aside, disregarding how hurt and sad I was. It felt like a moment where I had no self-respect. And that’s why it is my most vulnerable moment. Because regardless of me being conscious of how I was acting and how it was making me look, my feelings, emotions, and heart were put first.Â
Being vulnerable does not mean you’re always going to get the outcome expected. And that was the lesson I learned. You can’t control people or situations. Â
Throughout the break up, I hated the idea of uncertainty, of not being able to control the situation. I hated that the world kept going and I was feeling like this. Being young and in love is something beautiful. Our teenage years ARE our most vulnerable moments. But it taught me that acceptance is the best way to move on. Regardless of your religious beliefs, the world and universe have a plan for you. Having that “everything happens for a reason” mentality is what got me through those tough times. And see everything DOES happen for a reason. We broke up and found our way back to one another. In life, you have to be vulnerable and put yourself out there to live it to the fullest.Â
