Let me be perfectly honest– I was so ready to graduate. I think that I have been ready to graduate since my sophomore year of college. But now that the time has come, dare I say that I feel… nervous? Scared? Sad? Nostalgic? I literally have so many feelings. Some good, some bad. But I am excited for the future!
After a career crisis, moving situation, and lots of decision-making, I still don’t know what I’m doing post-grad. One day I will, and hopefully that day is soon, but for now, I have adapted a mindset of “What is meant to be, will be”, and I think that is a pretty great way to look at things if you’re struggling with the idea of graduating college.Â
Anyways.. Let’s reflect!
I chose Chico because it was close to home. I moved out with two of my best friends from high school, and before I knew it, I was moving back home. I struggled IMMENSELY during my first two years of college. I failed a class (it’s not horrible, but very unlike me). I became really depressed. Anxious. Quiet. Lonely. I had a really hard time. I didn’t feel like I belonged. I didn’t make any friends, and it felt too late to try to go back and make more. By the end of my first year, I decided that I was going to transfer to a community college back home.
Then, my second semester of my first year, I took a creative writing class that I loved. I fell in love with writing all over again. I felt some form of connection. So, I decided to stay.
My sophomore year was a doozy. I got out of my depressive episode, and started hanging out with my friends. I commuted an hour two times a week for an entire school year to Chico. It was hard, but I did it. And it made me feel so much more confident in moving to Chico for my third year. I met my boyfriend. I met some great people. I became more connected to the community here. I started thriving and making memories. I also went to the library for the first time, and that was life-changing for me. Yes, it took me four semesters of college to gain the confidence to go to the library. Her Campus started up, and I began feeling so much joy and happiness writing again and again.Â
I moved up to Chico just before my junior year. I lived at Timber Creek (if you know, you know). I joined a sorority. I became more involved on campus. I met my bestest friends, my future bridesmaids. I just fell in love with Chico. I decided to start living my college experience, because why not? I have had the best two years living here, and it has been such a great and fun time.
I will say, Chico definitely isn’t for everyone. The partying, gossip, small town vibes are VERY high school at times. But, it is a college town filled with love!
I keep smelling the air or feeling the vibes and getting teleported back in time. It’s such a weird feeling, that I can only really describe it as bittersweet. It feels so nostalgic. Like I’m never going to be back in this town, this time, this experience. It’s all original to me and this chapter of my book is closing. I am so excited for my future, don’t get me wrong. I didn’t think I was going to miss this experience, but now I can say that I definitely am.
I definitely did not expect any of this. I didn’t expect to fall in love, to find such amazing friends, to commute, to move home, to move back… all of it is nothing like how I planned. If you know me, you know that I’m a huge planner.
Chico, thank you so much for everything. I have been so lucky to have found my best friends. My boyfriend. My puppy. I’ve learned how to be an adult. How to grow. How to cope with loss. How to love. How to become the best version of me. And I have Chico to thank for all of it!