The Story of How I Learned to navigate stress after four years of college
To say I’m an anxious person would be the understatement of the century. Since childhood, I’ve been shy, nervous, and completely stressed out about everything. However, through many trials and tribulations these past four years, I can now confidently say, in my very last semester as an undergrad, that I know how to chill out (to some degree… I’m not superwoman). I believe that college is a fundamental experience for a multitude of reasons, but especially because you begin to navigate life as a brand-new adult. In my experience of doing so, I discovered that maybe not every molehill was a mountain and that things would genuinely work out. So, as a wise, old senior, I’d like to pass this knowledge on.
The Beginning of the Journey
I first understood that I had a problem managing stress during my freshman year of college. To make matters infinitely worse, the world was on COVID-19 lockdown, and my freshman experience was fully virtual and isolated. I entered my first semester feeling confident that Zoom college meant no work and no stress. I was, of course, very incorrect. The work itself wasn’t even unbearable. In fact, it was just as easy as you might expect a fully online curriculum to be. What truly began to gnaw at me was how completely alone I felt that year. None of my close friends from high school chose to go to college, and it was basically impossible to make new ones through a screen. Combine all of this with major life and family events, as we all experience at one point or another during these formative years, and I was a wreck. Not only mentally, but it began to reflect physically too. I was completely exhausted all the time, was constantly sick and drained, and the absolute worst part was that my auto-immune disease flared up, which was a major sign of unrest. If you have eczema, you know the struggle, and I had never had an outbreak like this. Feeling utterly defeated and at an all time low, I realized that if I wanted the best possible college experience, I needed to pull myself up and do some serious work. So I did.
a major wakeup call
The lockdown was lifted the following year, I cut the toxicity from my life, healed my skin, and entered my sophomore year feeling hopeful. I had a new life routine down, and even if it sounded silly to others, I knew it worked, and worked well. The first thing I did during my sophomore year was make friends. This happened sort of by accident, but I made sure to give these new friendships 100% of my energy, and it truly paid off. I found myself surrounded by people who supported my growth and it only served to lift me higher. Second, I went to acupuncture. Alright, I know how this one sounds. Admittedly, I no longer receive treatments, and I can’t definitively say it worked to cure my skin and inflammation, but all I know is after a consistent five months of weekly treatments, I felt better (although, after the needles, the treatment consists of laying completely still in a soft chair for an hour with relaxing music on if that provides any clarity here). Finally, I bought a planner and used it. Religiously. I would block out every minute of my day, which definitely doesn’t help my case in terms of beating the anxious girly allegations. However, it was a huge relief, taking the pressure of remembering every single responsibility off of myself by simply jotting it down. Things were going well, but I was still finding myself waiting until the last minute on assignments, avoiding going out and expanding my social circle, and feeling wary of joining any club or organization. Then I got the news. I was diagnosed with hypertension, which is severely high blood pressure, a condition that usually only affects people in their middle ages. Hypertension, usually a result of lifestyle, but in my case, extreme stress, is referred to as another name: the silent killer. My new habits weren’t cutting it, and I needed to make a change, and fast.
Putting in the work
The following year, I prioritized my health. I ate well, walked a lot, lifted light weights (I’m a little lazy so this has become a very off-and-on habit), and above all, learned as much as I could about myself. I paid attention to my gut reactions, my first responses, what I was afraid of, what made me anxious, and what made me sad. I found my patterns, what made me tick, and began to understand myself at a much deeper level. I discovered that even though the lockdown was over, and I had made new friends, I continued to act as though I was isolated, making myself feel alone, therefore building my problems and worries into much larger obstacles than what they truly were. From that point forward, it was simple. I started saying yes. To everything. I faced as many fears as I could. I joined the radio, where I found my passion for leadership. I faced my fears of failure and took classes and added minors to my degree where I wouldn’t know anyone and where the material I was learning about was completely new to me. I allowed myself to make mistakes and learn from them. I took on more responsibility at work, creating connections and projects I can utilize and learn from for years to come. I joined Her Campus and discovered an amazing community where I, again, could face my fears of actually writing rather than just talking about it. Finally, and most importantly, I started therapy. Therapy truly changed my life as I began to learn that by isolating myself, I created a space where every negative thought and worry I had was impossible to prove wrong. Once I opened myself up to every opportunity and possibility I could get my hands on, there were a million different ways that negative voice was proven wrong again and again. Now, I only have a couple of months of college left, and I have no set path, but I know where I’m going and that’s finally enough. Because I’m confident in myself, I’m confident in my choices and decisions, which is everything I could have hoped for.
My advice to you
So, what is the takeaway from this? I hope if you’re just starting your college journey, or if you are later to the game like me, or even if you’ve never struggled with this type of stress like I have, that you can learn from this journey. First, to truly conquer your stress, you have to understand where it comes from, which means understanding yourself. Don’t isolate, like I did, but be with yourself as much as possible to learn who you are, the good and the bad. Use that knowledge to find little habits that make the day-to-day easier as you begin to tackle the bigger picture. When it comes time to cross that huge bridge, here’s what you need to remember. Open yourself up to every possibility. You are truly more capable than you know and can 100% do whatever you set your mind to. Join every club, apply to every job and internship, take every leadership opportunity, and give yourself the chance to fail, learn, and grow. In other words, don’t reject yourself. Take the chance and let someone else tell you no, because it could be a yes, and you’d once and for all prove that your fears are just fears, and not your reality. Finally (and this can be done in whatever capacity or form is possible and comfortable for you), go to therapy. Learn about your past, the way your brain works, and obtain tools to help you navigate the world the way you need to. You will never regret it.
I hope my story and my advice can do something positive for you, and even if you can’t relate, know that I’m rooting for you either way. Whatever stress might be on your mind and in your worries, you’ve got this and I believe in you!!