The start of school is upon us, with new experiences and possibilities around the corner. For some hometown couples, this means re-entering a long-distance relationship – and it’s stressful. It is normal to feel both eagerness for the school year and dread for the long distance as the time approaches, so don’t let your guilt stop you from having fun. As a person in an LDR (long-distance relationship), I promise these 5 practical tips will help you both strengthen and maintain your relationship.
- Establish boundaries
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Especially if you are an incoming freshman, the first week of school is busy. Making time to text, call, or FaceTime your significant other is going to be hard. Going into the first week, I would suggest establishing the expectation that you might not call or text each other as often. And that’s okay! Establishing independence in an LDR is difficult but necessary. Don’t be known as that person who is always contacting their partner; prioritize your life by enjoying frosh week, making friends, and getting to know the campus.
- Make communication fun and frequent!
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Sometimes mustering up the energy to talk to your partner is difficult at the end of a long day. But that doesn’t mean you should ignore or abandon them; the key is to make the time for each other fun and frequent. This reassures your partner that they are loved, and that you haven’t forgotten about them. Here are some ideas:
- Send a little video of your fit check, or outfit of the day, before you leave for class.
- The app Locket is like Snapchat but in widget form, so you can send pictures and updates quickly and easily. Take pictures of yourself or notes that you wrote for them, and it will appear on their home screen.
- Text a paragraph for them before you go to bed for them to wake up to; tell them you appreciate them, love them, can’t wait to see them next, etc.
- Utilize other forms of communication besides texting, such as FaceTime or voice memos. Facetime for at least 5 minutes every day, even just to say goodnight, or send a voice memo whenever you get the chance.
- Have something to look forward to!
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Long distance is difficult, and sometimes it seems there is no end in sight. Creating a date ideas list with your partner when you see them in person next is a great way to see the light at the end of the tunnel. You can talk about it over FaceTime and have a shared note for the list. Some ideas are:
- Build a Lego set together
- Play/learn a sport
- Christmas shopping
- Pasta and wine night
- Charm bracelet making
Planning exciting and active dates when you see each other in person is also plays an essential part of strengthening your relationship. It’s so tempting just to lay in bed and cuddle all day with your partner, but this quickly makes the relationship feel stagnant. Dynamic dates are a great way to learn more about your partner and grow a deeper connection, so you feel better together and apart.
- Physical reminders
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Long distance requires you to get physical in other ways! Mail is a forgotten form of communication that long-distance couples can utilize. Sending letters or packages is a cute way to show your love and affection. Here are some ideas of what you can put in a letter:
- Photos (you can print high-quality photos out at Walmart for about 30 cents a photo!)
- Stickers
- Pressed flowers and flower petals
- Lip balm
- Bookmarks
- Spray some of your perfume
- Ribbons and bows
- Candy
- Jewelry, such as rings or bracelets
- Poems
- Doodles
- Be optimistic
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Some may say that long distance is difficult, taxing, and unlikely to work out. While those things may be true for others, that doesn’t mean it’s true for you. The best piece of advice I can give from one LDR person to another is to be optimistic. Negative thoughts will quickly get you down and therefore serve you no purpose. Instead of thinking of all the things that could go wrong with your partner, focus on everything that could go right. Remember why you are with them and what you love about them. Long distance does end, and there is someone who loves you waiting for you on the other side.