People are unique creatures. It’s difficult to look past the masks we all wear everyday while we interact with friends, family and fellow human beings. The following five questions have been compiled to break the ice and help you overcome those awkward silences and lulls that are sometimes hard to avoid when conversing with new acquaintances. Strengthen your relationships and build networks by improving your friendly conversational skills.
- Did you see the Golden Globes last weekend?This query could easily help launch a full-on discussion on celebrity culture, fashion and movies or the shallowness of society, the media industry and the futility of awards shows. Since it is awards season you could easily replace the Golden Globes with the Emmy’s, the Grammy’s, the Oscar’s or whichever. By posing a variation of this question, you begin to understand the fundamental principles by which this person lives their life. If they spend twenty minutes analyzing the dress code on the Red Carpet and throw out designer names left, right and centre it’s safe to say that they are hyper aware of fashion. On the other hand, if they do not like awards shows ask them why. Maybe they prefer independent films or indie movies that do not often get recognized at mainstream ceremonies.
2. What was the last concert you attended?By asking this question you open up the floor to a realm of possibilities. Perhaps they have never attended a concert but they would jump at the chance to see a certain band. Maybe they are not too fond of music itself — people like this do exist and should not be judged for it — but they absolutely adore the theatre or the ballet. Piecing together mutual interests or passions allows for connections you never would have anticipated having, had you ended the conversation after the first question.
3. What was the last book you read for fun? The phrasing of this question is critical because you most likely do not want to hear about their nightly readings of “Advanced Chemistry” (unless of course you’re studying the same book and therefore have the possibility to become study buddies of some form!). Reading for pleasure is a means of escaping from reality for many people, but at times our choices in novels reflect what we covet such as adventure, excitement or romance. Friends can help provide all three of the former elements but most importantly, if you can find one person who shares your passion for an obscure author like ‘Kilgore Trout,’ you may just become friends for life.
4. What would you do with a billion dollars?I know that the song goes, “If I had a million dollars…” but in this day and age, not to mention this economy, a billion seems slightly more appropriate. This query can actually reveal quite a bit about someone’s personality once you get by the standard responses people usually give. They might say that they would pay for their father’s cancer treatments, put money into mental health research, pay off their parents’ debt, go to school abroad, live on a boat and travel the globe. You might be surprised by what people will say when they actually think about it, and in turn you may have similar responses, or even may have new ideas on what to do with all that money.
5. Tea or Coffee?This is the perfect set up if you want to see the person again, not necessarily in a romantic setting but in a friendly open environment. Invite them out to have a coffee or tea with you at your favourite local coffee shop. This can bring out a competitive side in people — some are very specific about their preferences, for example certain people only drink herbal tea, hot chocolate from Starbucks or only Tim Hortons coffee. Maybe they don’t drink either, and joining you at a coffee shop and ordering an alternate drink may just prove their selflessness and commitment to hanging out with you (which are great qualities in a friend by the way).
Enjoy getting to know your friends and good luck on making connections. Note: Don’t force friendship for the sake of making friends, just let it happen. If you instantly click, great. If not, don’t feel the need to change who you are for them to like you (i.e BE YOURSELF).