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Crushes in college: The love and the pain of being delusional

The opinions expressed in this article are the writer’s own and do not reflect the views of Her Campus.
This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at Carleton chapter.

Crushes – we all know them, and most of us have experienced them at some point. To me crushes have always been a fun part of life, it’s not as serious as a committed relationship and allows you to daydream more about the what ifs of the future with that person. 

However, this can become a problem, especially if the crush is one-sided or the person is unavailable. That’s when the pain starts to come in. The crushing realization that everything you had imagined is just that – a fantasy. 

It all started with a guy in my freshman-year journalism class. He wasn’t someone I’d expect to fall for — he was quiet, loved photography, and tended to keep to himself, making him difficult to read. Yet, perhaps it was his mysterious nature that drew me in; suddenly, he was the only person on my mind.

Whenever I saw them in lectures, I would tell myself that we were destined to have some grand love story. It was almost as if I could see it unfold: he’d see that we were perfect for each other, and we’d have this epic whirlwind romance. The problem? He barely even knew my name.

When I finally moved on, I felt relieved mixed embarrassment from my rampant imagination. My college crush wasn’t love, but an emotional learning. It was a reminder of how easy it is to mistake daydreams for genuine connections, especially in the fast-paced, exciting, and confusing world of college. 

To me, crushes can be an emotional rollercoaster of love, pain, and self-reflection. But in a way, they can teach vulnerability and remind us why it’s important to take action rather than live in the safety of daydreams. It also teach us to see love differently — as less a fairy tale and more as a journey filled with the twists and turns that make life, despite all the love and pain, so worthwhile.

Joy Keke

Carleton '27

Joy Keke is an aspiring investigative journalist and lawyer located in Ottawa Ontario. As an associate editor for the 2024-2025 school year, she is dedicated to maintaining the writer's voice while prioritizing clarity, balance, and accuracy in every story she handles. As a second-year Journalism and Law student, Joy has gained experience writing from serving as a school news reporter for The Raven's Call during high school to being a reporter for the online news site Black Scene Ottawa in the summer of 2024. In her free time, Joy enjoys watching video essays, playing video games, and listening to true crime podcasts and documentaries. She is an avid reader and book nerd, with her favourite series being “A Good Girl's Guide to Get Away with Murder". You can often find her at a local cafe, sipping coffee, and engrossed in a good book.