Recently, two good friends of mine have been going through some “relationship issues,” both who are dealing with two different ends of the dating spectrum. Hannah* has been with her boyfriend for two years and is stuck in an endless loop of “I love him” and “I think my feelings for him are gone.”
Leah* on the other hand, has been seeing a guy for more than a few months, and has been putting up with his indecisiveness to move things along. Hearing them talking about their problems and frustrations made me think about my own, including a very big question that’s been forming for weeks; When is enough enough, and where’s the point where we walk away, pull an Elsa, and let it go?
Personally, I’ve experienced this feeling after the sappy movie fests, the very angry venting to my best friends, and the constant rollercoaster of a relationship that I had going on. It was kind of like stepping outside of myself and seeing the situation with a fresh pair of eyes. It made me realize that my best friends had been right, and that I deserved better. So I told him to have a nice life, and moved on. And it was the best decision I ever made. So I pooled some answers and experiences from friends (girls and guys!) to see what they had to say about when they think it’s time to move on.
“I think in your mind most of the time you already know that it’s time to move on but you try and deny it; whether it’s because the guy doesn’t like you as much, or because you’re holding on to something that’s just not there. People hold on to things too long and try to fix things, or people, that can’t be fixed. Explaining a situation to a friend almost helps yourself realize that there really isn’t anything left to hold on to.” –Taylor B., 3rd year Psychology Major
“You should let go when you are no longer a priority, you turn into just an option.” –Juliette M., 3rd year History Major
“When you get stressed [not in a good way] about seeing the other person so much, that it outweighs the excitement to see them” – Ronnie R.
“From my past experience I’ve figured out that the time to walk away from a relationship is the time when you start to not be yourself. There’s a look from the other person and you get that funny feeling and you try too hard. At that point you’re better off just walking away. No one wins and if you pretend to be someone you’re not you lose the true sense of who you are. The minute you’re no longer recognizable to yourself is the time to call it quits.” -Trevor S.
“I think it’s time to walk away whenever you find yourself questioning if you want to stay in the relationship or not, more often than you do enjoying it” – Kayla T., 4th year Sociology Major
“I would say…. that everyone has their own expectations from a relationship. For me, it’s all about communication. Being honest and comfortable to talk to your partner about anything, that’s what I’ve found has been the deal breaker for me. If I feel like someone can’t be honest or upfront with me then I don’t see things lasting long term. It’s also really important, because so many other things stem out from communication, like trust.” –Jess L., 3rd year Law Major
“It’s time to let go when you would rather spend time by yourself in your room, than with that person. You stop looking forward to see that person, and when you do see them you don’t get those butterflies. You no longer see them as the person you’re in love with. They turn into just a friend.” – Lily H., -3rd year Nursing student at University of Windsor
*Names have been changed.
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