We talk a lot about women craving male validation—society practically runs on it. Everything seems designed to keep women programmed to seek approval from men, from Hollywood love stories to shifting beauty standards. But what doesn’t get talked about enough is men seeking validation from other men. It’s often an overlooked dynamic that plays out in ways that affect women’s self-worth and how they are valued in relationships and society.
This isn’t about blaming all men or pretending women don’t do the same. We all seek approval to some extent, and women aren’t immune to that. But the difference is that women are constantly shamed for it, while men craving male validation go under the radar—even though it often has consequences for the women in their lives.
How Group Mentality Hurts Women
A perfect example of men seeking male validation is how a man’s behaviour often shifts when he’s in a group. Imagine a guy who, one-on-one, is kind, supportive, and respectful in his relationships. But when he’s with his male friends, the dynamic changes. Maybe he starts making jokes at his girlfriend’s expense, not because he finds her annoying or inferior but because he gets laughs from his friends, which is worth it for him.
For women, this shift is just hurtful and annoying. It sends the message that our feelings matter less than his need to look good in front of his friends. It creates inconsistency where we can feel cherished in private but belittled in public. This need to “perform” for male approval leaves women questioning their worth, asking, “Am I valued for who I am, or am I just a prop to boost his image?”
Emotional Suppression = Emotional Neglect
Another way male validation affects women is through the way men are conditioned to suppress their emotions. Men are often taught that showing vulnerability or affection, especially in front of other men, is a sign of weakness. So, instead of expressing love or care openly, some men distance themselves emotionally, particularly in social settings where other men are present.
For women in relationships, this is frustrating because emotional intimacy is the cornerstone of connection. It is hard to feel emotionally connected to someone who is more concerned about appearing “tough” around his friends than being genuine. Women feel like their needs are being brushed aside yet again. Over time, it creates resentment, making women feel unseen and unimportant.
Cheating and Bragging About It
Then there’s cheating culture. Some men cheat not because they’re unhappy but because it earns them bragging rights with their friends. It’s about showing they can “get away with it” or proving they can attract multiple women. The focus isn’t always on their relationship—it’s on how they look to other men. Weird.
Cheating already destroys trust and self-esteem, but knowing your pain is being used as a punchline or a point of pride? It’s not just disrespectful, it’s dehumanizing. And it reinforces this idea that women are disposable, that our emotions and loyalty don’t matter as long as a guy can impress his friends.
Why This Matters
I know this isn’t true for all men, and I know women struggle with needing validation. But men’s craving for male approval deserves more attention than it has because it’s not just a “guy thing.” It’s something that affects women in very real ways; women deserve more than being collateral damage in someone else’s performance.
This isn’t about blaming men. It’s about recognizing how these things hurt everyone involved—men, women, and the relationships between them. Confidence doesn’t come from proving yourself to others, and real connection doesn’t come from using people as props in a story.
It’s time to rethink what we’re all trying to prove, and to whom.