“Hair holds memories.” A saying passed on by word of mouth, the web, Instagram, and TikTok. Whether you have heard it or not, anyone can recognize its truth.
When I chopped off all my hair as a kid, I remember wanting to be like my older sister, who had cut her hair a few days prior. When I dyed my hair bleach-blonde, memories of graduating from elementary school and wanting to fit in with older kids come to mind. The second time I cut off all my hair, I associate it with a period of change in my life when I was figuring out my sexuality.
My straight hair held the most memories. From grades three to ten, I was addicted to straightening my hair. My flat iron had become an identity-changing tool. I used my hair as a security blanket over my self-confidence issues associated with the fact that I was struggling to make an identity for myself.
When I showed up to school one day in grade eleven, donning my natural (albeit not in the best shape) curly-wavy hair, my friend of three years was shocked and asked me if I had curled it. She honestly thought that my hair was naturally straight.
Before going home, I went to the local drugstore and bought some hair products. The truth was that one of my closest friends hadn’t ever seen the true me. I realized I had hidden behind my straight hair for far too long, and that change was long overdue.
- SHampoo
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The first product I bought was a sulphate-free shampoo- I recommend Shea Moisture. Lather into roots, avoiding your ends. Washing the ends may cause mechanical damage. Repeat twice. With each wash, the soap washed out pieces of the bond I had formed between me and my straight hair.
- COnditioner
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The second product was Olaplex’s bond-repair conditioner. Work into the ends and leave on for five minutes, then rinse out. With each use, the bond between me and my curly hair grew.
- Curl cream
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The third was a nourishing and hydrating curl cream. Moroccanoil has great ones. Rake into roots but mostly the ends of soaking wet hair. Gently brush out any tangles and finger coil small sections of hair to coax out the curls forced into hiding.
- Hair oil
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The fourth was Olaplex’s Bonding hair oil. Mix in with the curl cream and apply to ends. Consider trying a pre-wash hair oil mask by letting rosemary oil sit on your scalp for a few hours pre-shower. The oil gently smoothed the frizz years of straightening had tried to kill.
- gel
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The fifth is a curling gel, of which Shea Moisture provides endless options. Glaze over wet hair and scrunch or brush style upside-down. The gel further defined the curls and the identity that I held with my hair.
- mousse
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The sixth and final product was a curling mousse. Scrunch gently into styled hair for extra hold. The mousse was the last step to lock in my curls and to ensure I would never return to the flat iron again.
Tip: If your story is similar to mine, and your hair has gone through straightener-related trauma, consider checking ingredient lists to ensure no strong sulphates, alcohols, or parabens are in your hair products. The most common are sodium lauryl sulphate, sodium laureth sulphate, and ammonium laureth sulphate. Our hair has gone through enough harm, so let’s treat it kindly going forward.
At a pivotal moment in my life, I started taking care of my curly hair. I was becoming an adult, facing battles, transitioning to a new school, losing friends, gaining friends, and figuring out who I wanted to be. I started to care less about what people thought of me and more about the person I wanted to be.
I want to be my whole self: curly-haired, hard-working, loving, and kind. When I took on that first curly hair routine, I washed, scrubbed, and smoothed away the fake, nervous, insecure girl I held in my straight hair.
Hair does hold memories, good and bad. I vow to make good memories to hold in my real, natural hair.