In honour of Valentine’s Day, I have a confession to make: I still have all my exes’ hoodies. Yes, all of them — and no, I am not still in love with them.
I have often heard people say once you have broken up with someone, getting rid of their stuff is the healthiest thing to do to move on. While I understand that, I can’t seem to see it that way. I don’t think anyone can convince me to get rid of them.
Here are three reasons why.
1. They are extremely comfortable and oversized
There is something about wearing someone else’s clothes that hits the spot. All my favourite T-shirts are from someone else. It’s the fact that they are worn down enough that they are no longer stiff, but also not too worn down that they look tarnished.
I like clothes that hang loosely on my frame. It brings a sense of comfort knowing that it’s worn to be cozy and not to be well presented. I choose oversized clothes over all else, and for some reason buying oversized hoodies or t-shirts doesn’t have the same effect as wearing someone else’s clothing that’s too big for you.
My exes’ hoodies bring the best of both worlds. They are quality hoodies, perfectly oversized and soft. What more can I ask for?
2. they are of emotional value to me
The hoodies are a reminder of the love I once experienced. Although I may not still be in love with them, they are still meaningful people in my life. I have been blessed with beautiful relationships in the past, and it’s simply not fair to throw away something that reminds me of that beautiful time in my life.
The clothes say: “I loved you enough to give you something I found comfort in and wanted to share that with you.” Trust me, I would never willingly give away my favourite hoodie to just anyone. I hold memories dear: good or bad — they are a part of who I am and made me who I am today.
So, despite the common premise that keeping your exes’ stuff is unhealthy, I find great comfort and joy in having them. These men made me feel safe and secure at some point in my life, and now their hoodies bring me the same sense of comfort.
3. I really hate getting rid of things
I am definitely a hoarder when it comes to clothes. To me, every article of clothing tells a story, and I can’t get myself to throw them out or give them away. The same goes for memories; I cherish them and don’t want to forget them. Keeping my exes’ clothes is a way to ensure I don’t forget the importance they played in my life.
I think the biggest reason it doesn’t feel wrong to have these sweaters is that my relationships ended on a good note and I am still friends with them. I never felt the need to forget them because they were wonderful people worth remembering. So, I don’t think I will ever throw the hoodies away — I will surely stop using them if I get into a relationship, but even so, it doesn’t make sense for me to throw them away.
As I said, they are a reminder of the person I used to be and the person I have become. It’s not about my exes. It is about me. If keeping their hoodies makes me happy, that’s exactly what I will do.