Ashley* is a senior college student at CWRU with a generally happy disposition. When seen around campus, she’s known to have a wide smile, even on the coldest Cleveland days. She springs when she walks, her long, black, naturally wavy hair bouncing with every step. But today, as I sat down to talk to Ashley, she didn’t display the same cheery demeanor.
“I’m not looking forward to Valentine’s Day because I’ll be the only one in my friend group who isn’t spending it with a boy,” she says.
Ashley had just returned from a quick grocery run at Dave’s Supermarket where, to her dismay, she was surrounded with plushy red hearts, Valentine’s Day cards, chocolates, and helium-filled heart-shaped balloons.
“I’m not a bitter or hateful person, but walking into Dave’s today…it just hit me. I’m going to be alone on Valentine’s Day,” Ashley says. “That really, really sucks.”
Ashley has five best friends who she shares an apartment in the Village with, and all five of them are in steady relationships. According to Ashley, she’s the “single sister.”
“It kind of sucks because society puts so much weight on this day. The flowers, the balloons, the candies, the idea of love being in the air. It’s so overwhelming. And it just makes me feel…I don’t know…just sad.”
Being single, Ashley says, makes her feel like an outsider, especially when Valentine’s Day rolls around. When she gets home from classes and eats dinner with her roommates, she suffers through listening to them talk about their experiences with their significant others. One friend just booked a spring break cruise to Jamaica with her boyfriend. Another friend came home to a rose at her door.
“I feel like this is a time when everyone’s falling in love. We’re not adults, but we’re not kids, and it’s the perfect time to fall in love. There are no real responsibilities yet, so you can just fall in love and see where it takes you. I can’t help but feel like I’m missing out,” she says. “I can’t help but feel like an outsider.”
However, despite her impending loneliness on Valentine’s Day, Ashley makes sure her anxieties about being alone won’t bring her down. She makes sure to keep her smile and she doesn’t neglect the spring in her step. Although she feels sad in the moment, she knows she should not dwell on her unhappiness.
“I’d like to be with someone, but it’s not the end of the world. Love is great, and I’d like to share that experience with someone else, but maybe it’s time that I focus on loving myself too.”
*Name changed for confidentiality