If you’ve ever met me, you know that there is nothing I enjoy more than complaining. Buckle up y’all, because this article is going to nothing more than verbally destroying the atrocities committed by the general public in and around Valentine’s Day. While I have much to say about society’s lack of respect (for themselves and others) in any situation, Valentine’s Day seems to be the epicenter of a large amount of this activity. In this article, I will elaborate on my five chief complaints about this “holiday” (which should be stricken from the calendar, in my opinion).
1. Bitching About the “Commercialization” of Valentine’s Day
I will (and have) openly admit to my hatred of Valentine’s Day. There is absolutely nothing wrong with strongly disliking a holiday that’s supposed to be all about love; however, one of the reasons I hate Valentine’s Day is because everyone else who hates Valentine’s Day claims to hate it because of the “commercialization”. Umm, welcome to America. Can you think of a single American holiday that hasn’t been commercialized? Even President’s Day (the world’s more boring holiday, sorry not sorry) has cards and candies dedicated to it. If you’re bitter about being single and hate getting that rubbed in your face, just admit it, but blaming your rightful hatred of a stupid holiday on “commercialization” is just silly. Let’s be real.
2. General PDA
This is, in itself, a major problem year round, but it seems to peak massively around the first few weeks of February. I loathe public displays of affection. I absolutely abhor it with every fiber of my being. It never ceases to make me nauseous when I see a lovesick couple exchanging a kiss before class outside Schmitt because 50 minutes is apparently much too long to go without seeing each other. I can’t roll my eyes far back enough in my head when I see lovey dovey couples snuggling on the couches in Nord and don’t get me started on lovers holding hands on their way to class. It’s freezing outside. Put your hands back in your pockets where they belong: Your own pockets.
3. Cuffing Season
For those of you who don’t know, cuffing season is supposedly the marked increase in relationship-y activity during the winter months. Apparently, people who otherwise would rather be single and do their own thing start to feel lonely and need someone to cuddle with when it starts to get cold, and thus, cuffing season happens. People who find themselves in a cuffing season relationship often delude themselves into thinking it’s the real deal. It’s okay, keep your head in the clouds. I’ll check back in a couple months.
4. The Uptick in Prices
As an avid protestor of all things Valentine’s Day, I try to abstain from partaking in the commercial aspect of things. Cardboard valentines that are sealed with a heart sticker? A waste of my hard earned money that I’d rather spend on Chipotle. But a girl’s got needs -for example: chocolate. Chocolate is not a seasonal item for me. It’s more of a daily item. And my consumption of chocolate doesn’t stop for anything, not even my hatred of Valentine’s Day. Unfortunately for me, prices for many items increase during the Valentine’s Day season. Prices for chocolate, jewelry, and flowers all increase dramatically around February 14th, much to the chagrin of chocolate lovers like me. Thanks to the spike in demand around this arbitrarily special day, people end up shelling over more money for less chocolate, which sucks. But, a small silver lining of this grey cloud: post Valentine’s Day clearance. I’ll be eating discounted pink and red chocolates until April.
5. Social Media Presence
Gone are the days where boycotting a holiday meant you could cut it completely out of your life and be perfectly happy. These days, come February 14th, our timelines and twitter feeds will be inundated with happy couples posting about their lives together. Seeing people on Instagram saying “Omg happy 2 and a half week anniversary! Love u so much!” “#wcw I’m such a lucky guy” “in luv with my best friend #blessed” is the technology age equivalent of making out behind the bleachers in high school. You can say that you were just doing it for yourself, but you’re really doing it so that everyone else will hear about it. The fact that your relationship needs social media validation so the world can see how happy you are together speaks volumes. Namely, that I’m unfollowing you.