Since the beginning of time, people have been committing to each other. It all started with Adam and Eve, clinging to one another to survive, which captures really beautifully the essence of what being in love is. However, in the 21rst century that seems to have been lost along the way and replaced with superficial and meaningless hookups labeled as “situationships”.
But why is it that the new generations find it so difficult to commit?Â
The immediacy of our time
In the age of technology, it is no news that people have grown used to have everything they want in a matter of seconds and with no effort at all. That seems to have extended itself onto relationships, seeing that nowadays it is pretty common to see relationships replaced by situationships, which unlike the first don’t demand emotional vulnerability or actions that showcase your feelings at all.
It seems like the youth of the new generations has grown comfortable with these “relationships” in which they only have fun with the other person superficially for a very little period of time, and then they’re onto the next! However, this pattern of how people are engaging with each other tells us a very complex story about the difficulty found in the present days to make a deep and meaningful connection with other people and the lack of motivation to work towards falling in love.
The ugly truth of falling in love
Making a romantic connection takes time and openness to vulnerability. As a capitalistic society, we eat up romantic comedies, which plays a big part in the unrealistic standards set up on relationships, standards that tells us it should be easy and cozy to open up and fall in love with the right person. In spite of that, reality shows us that it is not always a pretty process to get into a relationship.
It hurts and it takes up time to show another person your scars, to worry about what they’re thinking or if they’re loyal to you. Nevertheless, humankind has been doing it since forever because the pros outrank the cons when it comes to relationships. But it is impossible to make a deep connection while only wanting the nice parts of it and that’s the struggle of this age. People are so comfortable with the easy access to the other things in their lives that they don’t wanna bother to try and get to know the person they’re interested in, to be responsible for another person’s feelings.Â
Hide your feelings and seek self-protection
On top of that, why is it that a person would show their feelings to another, stripped out of their emotional walls, if they can just hide behind a “situationship” label and not have the slight chance of getting their hearts broken? This new label just goes to show us how far we’ll go for our need to self protect, not willing to take a chance on what could be a beautiful journey, simply because we’re too scared of the ugly parts of it. So, we chose to go through life with a superficial and cold mindset.
Since it is possible to hookup and hang out with no feelings attached, people have been doing just that. But when we really think about it, is it really possible to kiss and live a part of your life with another person without developing feelings? Or are we just getting far too good at denying them until they go away, shying away from real life?
Running from love: an impossible task
Our bodies react subconsciously to the person we love and there is no denying your feelings that makes it go away. For example, studies show that people fall asleep much faster when they’re laying next to someone they love. This just goes to show that our feelings are so powerful that they’ll find a way to come to the surface. So, even when you think you’re safe being in a situationship, liking someone in any shape or form means that one day everything that you were trying to avoid is going to come and make you face it.Â
Therefore, as a society we should stop and think about why is it that we choose to hide behind situationships when falling in love is inevitable. It is what has been giving us the will to go through life for centuries, what ignited life on earth, and running from it only deprives you of a big part of what being alive feels like. Besides, no matter how hard it can feel to let someone in, is it really worth living life on your own just because you’re scared?
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The article above was edited by Sarah Pizarro
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