From Legally Blonde to (500) Days Of Summer, we have all watched in a front row seat the struggles of iconic girls in their 20s. Even so, it is still very hard to grasp the reality of all the emotions and turbulence that a girl goes through in her early adult life. Nevertheless, let’s try to get a glimpse of such a personal, yet universal, situation that marks all girls’ lives, even the fictional ones.
Growing up: a hurtful and enlightening process
As a kid, I had always wondered what the beginning of my adult life would look like. Would I still love the thing that I do now, professionally speaking, for the rest of my life? Could I really live off of it? Would I find the love of my life? Will my friends and I drift apart because life got in the way? Is college life really like the ultimate fun, full of parties, adventures, and singing, just like movies as Pitch Perfect taught me? What I didn’t know back then, was that all of the questioning is actually one of the biggest parts of being in your 20s, and of becoming a woman.
Personally speaking, I still don’t know if I’m making the right choices for my life, and what those would even look like. Stepping into adulthood makes you doubt yourself, be scared, and feel like you’re not prepared. As natural as this phase of life can be, it is hard to see that everything that you thought you knew is changing.
From relationships to self-knowledge, it is a time of disappointments and new discoveries. Your friendships will be put to the test, because life has its own way of showing who your real friends are. And, yes, it will hurt to find out that even the most beautiful and trustworthy of relationships comes to an end. However, the older you get, the more you realize that you have to stop trying to fit into places that you don’t belong in, and when that happens, you’ll start finding the people that see you for who you really are.
The harsh reality of romantic relationships
On top of that, when you’re a young woman looking for love, you find out that any type of relationship is way more complex than you ever thought. First of all, the world treats women cruelly, making us feel unsafe everywhere, and unfit for the roles it expects us to portray. That alone makes getting into a relationship way harder, since we don’t really feel like we can trust anyone with our bodies and personalities, but there’s also a whole other thing that makes it all worse – standards versus reality.
When we were little, all the movies and the books we consumed told us that there is a prince or a princess out there waiting for us. They were supposedly going to be kind, caring, supportive, understanding. However, when we grow up, expecting those aspects in a partner, the naked truth hits us like a truck. Falling in love in this day and age is far less fantastic, or easy, like we previously thought. People have complex layers and it is hard to understand and love them when we’re still trying to know and appreciate ourselves.
Finding yourself in the midst of others’ expectations
On this subject of self knowledge, it is really hard to figure out who you are, while also trying to find out what you want your life to look like. In one of my favorite movies, called Little Women, we follow the story of four very different sisters, each of whom wants something completely different out of life. Their story might be set in the 19th century, but it clearly shows how much women are judged, regardless of what their choices in life are. It shows that it’s okay to want to marry and be a stay at home mom, or be single and focus on your career, as long as you’re happy.
The truth is that you don’t owe anyone an explanation or an apology for living your life in your own way. It doesn’t matter how you live it, there is always going to be someone you’re not pleasing – but you shouldn’t let that person be yourself.
After every storm, there is always a rainbow
Aside from all the doubt and the frustration, there’s a brighter side to your journey. Being a young girl in her 20s means having the freedom to get out there and figure things out, learn about who you are, what you like, where you want to go. It is the right time to screw up and try again, travel the world to find yourself, get drunk and realize the next morning you shouldn’t have. As hard as it may be, it’s an opportunity to challenge your limits and live life to the fullest, with no shame about your mistakes or traumas.
In conclusion, it’s not easy being a girl in her 20s, and not even slightly as amazing as movies often portray it. People will judge you, leave you, and doubt you. But most of the time, you’ll be your biggest enemy, demanding of yourself answers to questions that most people will never, in their whole life, have the right answer to.
So enjoy the highs, make mistakes, and stop worrying about what other people think of what you’re doing, or else you’ll end up missing out on the best experiences that can only happen at this moment in your life.
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The article above was edited by Maryanna Arison.
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