Leaving your parents’ house is a very important step in a person’s life. It is the first moment you really feel like a responsible adult. Regardless of the reason, college, job or anything else, it is a big change and marks a new phase, full of discoveries and new experiences.
This becomes even more exciting (and even frightening) when you are a person who has spent your entire life living in a small town. Outside the big cities, it is common to have a very varied image of what daily life is like in the metropolises: despite having many opportunities for study and work, several leisure options and diverse people can be available. But it also has many downsides, such as violence, the cost of living and the crowding of public transport.
Even knowing the problems, many choose to leave their hometowns and try their luck in the big city.
From Minas Gerais to Sao Paulo
Arthur da Silva Ferreira, 19 years old, was born in Ouro Preto, Minas Gerais, but grew up and lived in Campanha, in the south of the state, since he was 6 years old. He left his parents’ house for the first time in 2020, after finishing his senior year of high school to study Journalism at Casper Libero College.
He was in Sao Paulo two or three times before taking the exam to join the college, after that he came with his bags ready to live here. “When I came to Sao Paulo, I came totally unprepared on a shoestring. I was starting to make friends and get used to the city when the pandemic started.”
As classes became remote, he returned to Campanha, where he followed classes through online platforms. Despite all the rush he went through to find an apartment, he stayed less than a month on the property he shared with other students.
Because he did not think it was worth living the university experience only online, he ended up withdrawing from the course in 2022, but, with the return of classes in person, he returned to college to continue his studies and make the most of everything the college has to offer.Â
The first time he lived alone in the city, Arthur felt very lonely. He did not have any relatives or friends in the city and only with time he started to make friendships. “I always wanted to leave Campanha, because it is a small town. And the funny thing is, when I left, I suffered a lot. I remember [on the first day alone in Sao Paulo] I cried a lot. I spent a whole day locked in my room crying and wanting to go back to Campanha. I layed on my bed without the courage to do anything. The first days were very painful, because I did not know anyone.”
He misses family moments a lot, like playing with his brother and watching series with his mother. To kill the nostalgia, he would like to visit often, but the price of the tickets is an issue. In addition, he always tries to keep in touch with friends and family through the phone.
Today he is in his third week living alone – for the second time – and is still getting used to his independence. “It is a mix of feelings. It is a very big freedom. At home I had help from my parents and brothers, here I have to do everything. As nice as it is to live alone and live an adult life, it is also complicated, because we have to take care of our own things, be responsible and take care of the house.”
From the countryside to the capital
Alessandra de Souza, 20 years old, was born in Jaguariúna, in the countryside of Sao Paulo and in the metropolitan region of Campinas, where she lived until last year, when she moved to the capital. She left her parents’ house in November 2021 and moved to Sao Paulo for an internship opportunity that had always been her dream. Today she shares an apartment with her boyfriend and also studies Journalism at Casper Libero College.
The first time she lived alone was in Australia, where she spent 6 months, when she was 18 years old. “I think that helped a lot with the experience I am having right now.”. About the experience of living in a big city like Sao Paulo, she highlights one of the main advantages: “It is a city that never stops. If you want to eat something at three in the morning, you will find several options and this is very different from the cities in the countryside. I particularly like it.”
But not everything is perfect. When you start living alone, it is only a matter of time before unexpected problems arise. “Another thing that is very different is the housework. If I don’t do it, someone else won’t do it instead. So it is something I’m still trying to get used to.”.
The main difficulty that Alessandra feels is the issue of financial independence. “Knowing that everything depends on you: shopping, household bills… but homesickness is also very difficult to deal with”. She has a very close relationship with her family, especially her mother, with whom she used to go out often. “I really miss the interaction, going to restaurants together, going out without having to book a day and time.”
Despite everything, she understands that this is a necessary phase for her development as a person. “It is a different feeling, of freedom, even if we miss it a lot, but I think it is very important for our growth.”
The article below was written by Sabrina Carmo and edited by Isabella Gomes.Â
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