How often have you heard that “letting it out is better than keeping it in”? In general, people deal with their thoughts and feelings in different ways, but it is agreed upon: when someone notices that you are holding something inside, it is almost certain that they will ask if you want to talk about it.
Some people like to sit down and talk about their problems. Others prefer not to talk about it, to let it pass… But do unresolved thoughts disappear, or do they just get ruminated on until they reach an unsustainable point? According to an article written by VivaBem, UOL‘s health and wellness channel, any situation that provokes a strong emotional imbalance (involving feelings such as anxiety, sadness, or anger) can cause chemical and hormonal changes that trigger symptoms like headaches, muscle pain, back pain, fatigue, and even digestive problems like gastritis and diarrhea.
“Not talking about your feelings, repressing your emotions, can be very isolating, and this isolation can reverberate in a person in various ways. It can trigger several psychic and psychological issues precisely because they are holding onto that suffering,” explains Giulia Peruzzo, psychologist and journalist. “When you cannot share this suffering, when it is kept inside without being externalized, it can lose shape. When we talk about something, when we express our feelings and rely on someone’s support, we can give better shape to situations.”
In addition to being healthy, talking about what is going on inside of us can be extremely advantageous. According to Giulia, when shared, feelings help in the development of emotional intelligence, understanding what you feel, the reasons behind the emotion, how it came about, and what to do with it moving forward.
“Sometimes, the other person has gone through a similar situation, and finding that companionship in someone else, realizing that it doesn’t happen only to you, is very liberating and a relief. Sometimes, you feel inadequate or bad for feeling something and thinking you shouldn’t, when, in reality, many other people may be feeling or going through the same situation as you. This also helps to understand what this feeling is because, many times, we keep feelings without fully understanding what they are,” she says.
Of course, expressing your thoughts and feelings through talking, whether with friends, family or in therapy, is a great way to let out what you feel. But that’s not the only way. “Writing, painting, theater, dance, and even watching a play and identifying with it are forms of expression that help because you can also see in that artistic expression something that resonates with you, that makes sense to you, and that also aligns with your feelings,” says Peruzzo.
An article published in the Santa Casa de Maringá magazine points out that art therapy presents itself as a form of communication, thus helping to express and communicate feelings, facilitating reflection, and communication, and allowing for the necessary behavioral changes. And, according to CNN Brazil, therapeutic writing contributes to the process of self-knowledge, which can pave the way for lifestyle changes and improvements in mental health. And, of course, therapy is always a great place to express your feelings.
Giulia explains that “if the feeling is very deep, you can seek professional help for appropriate guidance, such as the active listening of a psychologist. But that is not the only possibility. Not everyone has the resources to do therapy, whether financial or emotional. Many people are not prepared for it, and many others do not need that professional help. So, you can talk to friends and family; the important thing is that they are people you trust and who do not invalidate what you are feeling.”
In the end, what matters is being able to talk about your feelings gently, not belittling them or believing they are insignificant. After all, if feelings exist, they should be taken seriously. “It is important to express your feelings and thoughts to find someone who, not necessarily to coddle you, but to validate what you are feeling, in the sense of: ‘Look, you are feeling this, and that is valid. So, let’s think about what to do from here,’ without passing judgment,” she concludes.
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The article above was edited by Duda Kabzas.
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