There are people who love to stay alone sometimes and live very well with it, but some people don’t – and they are afraid of the thought of being alone. And that is something normal, the human being needs the feeling of validation and belonging from someone. However, your own validation and reception is the most significant. You being your highest priority is always the best option. You need to dedicate yourself, even just a little bit, in order to feel comfortable by yourself.
How can I learn to like being “alone”?
Firstly, being alone doesn’t mean having anyone with you, but spending time by yourself knowing that you have others with you no matter what – and being secure enough about it.
Nowadays, people are so afraid of missing out, that they don’t want to be alone and miss something that sometimes it’s not even worth it. The feeling of losing moments can be scary.
But you know what? The chances of being everywhere with everyone that you know are so small, so you need to know who your priority is. Who are the people you want to spend time with. And those people will not matter if you need some time alone, the relationship will not get worse because that day you were tired or just wanted to be by yourself.
Of course you need to balance, because being with those you love is wonderful. However, people can be there, together, and you don’t, and that’s ok! At this moment, that is your priority. From the moment you understand that, spending time alone becomes much easier.
When you don’t know how to be alone, you end up subjecting yourself to bad situations just to not stay lonely, whether in a romantic relationship, in a friendship, at work, with your family. But when you learn that, there’s always a place you can go back, that is by yourself.
How can I like being by myself?
That can be a little cliché but romanticizing that little moment of your life and being the “main character” of your point of view can be a big step to enjoy spending time by yourself. From listening to your favorite music while you are walking to your work, to traveling alone and touring around the places you want, discovering a world from your perspective.
Adding things that are good for you and make you relax and unwind to your routine is so essential, like a hobby. If you don’t have any hobbies, it is time to look for one. Playing any sport or instruments, running, painting, writing, etc.
Doing whatever you want with no validation or opinion of anyone is so good. Do you want to dance crazily in front of your mirror? Do that! Do you want to eat chocolate, watch a sad movie and just cry? Do that! Do you want to go for a run while listening to your favorite song? Do that too!
Humans need relationships and sharing your happiness and desires with someone else is incredible. But sometimes this can be limiting, and that is why it is so important to know how to be alone. In the end, you are the only one who will always be by your side. There is no way to escape this. Forever.
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The article above was edited by Isa Mucilo.
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