In our 20s, the world often expects us to have everything figured out. We’re told that success comes from knowing exactly what we want, sticking to our decisions, and always pushing to be the best. Whether it’s in our careers, relationships, or even body image, the constant pressure to be great can leave us feeling exhausted and overwhelmed. But what happens when the path you’re on no longer feels right? Is changing your mind a sign of failure—or is it actually a form of growth?
This idea is explored in the episode “Mudar de opinião é ser hipócrita?” (Is Changing Your Mind Hypocritical?) from the podcast Gostosas Também Choram by Lela Brandão, as well as in the episode “It’s Okay to Change Your Mind” from Anything Goes with Emma Chamberlain. Both episodes delve into the pressure to stay consistent with our choices, even when they no longer reflect who we are. Lela poses an important question: Is it more important to remain loyal to past decisions, or to prioritize our current happiness? We decided to discuss it as well.
Growth Means Change
The idea that we must stay true to choices we made in the past, no matter what, can be overwhelming. Perhaps, even though we might think sticking to our beliefs is the best way to maintain our faith, this commitment to our former selves can actually hold us back.
As we grow older, we learn new things, meet new people, and naturally change our perspectives. Maybe you once hated the color pink and now you love it. Maybe you were vegan and decided to eat meat again. Or perhaps you thought law school was your dream, but then switched your major to communications. You might have a bad first impression about someone and then realize your opinion about them is different later. All of this is fine. It’s okay! Clinging to the opinions we had when we were younger limits our growth.
But wait, keep your values and consistency
Of course this doesn’t mean you should constantly change your mind or be inconsistent about core values. There are things that we have to stick to our choices to be consistent: like maintaining a new habit for example. But it does mean recognizing when evolving is the right thing to do.
Flexibility is a Strength, Not a Weakness
Changing your mind isn’t a sign of weakness or hypocrisy. It’s a sign that you’re human. Being flexible, open to new experiences, and willing to adapt is a strength, not a flaw. You should not be embarrassed to change.
Lela, during the podcast, reminds us of a trend on social media, where people humorously declare “I unsaid that”, created by an audio of Priscila Evelyn, to show that it’s okay to change your mind and not take ourselves too seriously.
Another important point is that it’s easy to get caught up in the seriousness of life in your 20s and we should be careful. We start our adult life feeling that every decision must be purposeful and excellent, but maybe we need to lighten up and recognize that growth often comes from letting go of past beliefs.
Self-Compassion is the Key
On the podcast, Emma says that for months, she was in a limbo, afraid to change her mind but also repulsed by her past choices. However, she realized that many of the things she enjoys most now were things she didn’t like at first. Remember this whenever you face the fear of changing your mind: changing it’s a sign of growing up and sticking to what you need right now.
We’re often our own harshest critics, especially when we feel pressured to have everything under control. But it’s okay to give yourself permission to change your mind, to let go of something that no longer serves you. This kind of self-compassion is essential—it allows us to grow without guilt or shame weighing us down. You shouldnt be embarrassed of it or even explain your changes to anyone. Over-justify yourself comes from guilt. Lela and Emma teaches us to not be afraid of what other people are going to think.
In Conclusion: Embrace the Change
Changing your mind is not weak, it means you need something different now. You shouldn’t stay in a place that doesn’t serve you just to prove something to other people.
Life is too short to stay stuck in a mindset or decision that doesn’t align with who you are anymore.
While we might see things differently in five or ten years – and that’s fine – right now, this is what feels right. Allow yourself to accept that you are changing.
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The article above was edited by Maria Clara Polcan.
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