It is quite obvious for any Sex and The City fan that Carrie (Sarah Jessica Parker) and Mr.Big’s (Chris Noth) relationship is, to say the least, really conflictual and full of ups and downs. Big’s numerous attitudes of ambiguity and abandonment put Bradshaw in a suffering position throughout six seasons (and two movies!) and alert the viewers to behaviors one should avoid in relationships. So, check out 7 of them now!
“How many women are you dating?”
At the beginning of Carrie and Mr. Big’s involvement, while having dinner with her friends, she bumps into the man she thought she was seeing exclusively, having a date with someone else. Though uncomfortable, she still goes out to a party with him the next night, where another woman greets him with a kiss on the lips, a gesture he seems unconcerned about.
When Carrie finally expresses her unease and tries to discuss their exclusivity with him, he deflects with a joke, telling her to “just enjoy the party.” This encounter leaves Bradshaw not only realizing she’s in a one-sided relationship but also feeling silenced and mocked for her concerns.
“Mother, this is my friend, Carrie”
In the Season 1 finale, Carrie discovers that Big takes his mother to church on Sundays. Intrigued, she hatches a plan with Miranda (Cynthia Nixon) to “spy” on him the next time. However, her journalist instincts backfire when she accidentally drops her Bible, drawing unwanted attention from the Big family, including his mother. A post-church catch-up becomes unavoidable. When Big finally introduces Carrie, she desperately seeks acknowledgment from the woman, only to be labeled a “friend.”
Carrie confronts him about the blatant downplay. He brushes it off with a dismissive, “What are you trying to do, test me? My mother doesn’t need to meet another girlfriend“. This encounter marks the beginning of a recurring pattern: Big’s reluctance to publicly acknowledge their relationship.
“This isn’t about us. This is about work!”
Right before his week-long work trip to Paris, Big casually drops a bombshell on Carrie: there’s a chance he might have to relocate there for an extended period. This news, which he’s apparently been holding onto for a while, leaves Carrie reeling. When she confronts him about the lack of communication, he dismisses her concerns with his classic “you’re overreacting” remark.
Determined to salvage the situation, Carrie shows up at Big’s place at the end of the episode, even sporting a Parisian-inspired beret. She proposes solutions for a long-distance relationship, even broaching the possibility of joining him in Paris. However, Big throws cold water on her enthusiasm, insisting she shouldn’t uproot her life “expecting something in return“. This insensitive response triggers Carrie’s iconic meltdown, culminating in her famously throwing the McDonald’s dinner she bought against the wall.
“I meant to call you…She’s this girl that I met in Paris”
Nearing the end of season two, the girls embark on a weeklong getaway to the Hamptons at Charlotte’s (Kristin Davis) behest. There, at the Hamptons Hoedown party, Carrie comes face-to-face with Big, someone she hasn’t seen since his abrupt departure for Paris.
He’s not alone; a young woman named Natasha (Bridget Moynahan), described by him as “26 or 27”, is by his side. Carrie confronts him, demanding to know who Natasha is and why he never mentioned her existence. Big offers a weak apology, claiming he “meant to tell her” (but clearly never did).
This encounter adds insult to injury. Carrie, who is in her 30s, feels acutely aware of the age difference between her and the youthful Natasha. The situation makes her fear she’s reached some kind of romantic “expiration date“.
“I made a mistake”
After marrying Natasha, Big discovers Carrie is in a seemingly happy relationship with Aidan (John Corbett). This unexpected development seems to trigger a wave of regret and confusion. He fixates on Carrie, making a series of unwelcome appearances – calling her apartment, her boyfriend’s place, and even showing up unexpectedly at her doorstep. He confesses his feelings, uttering words Carrie describes as “exactly what I had needed to hear, a year too late“.
The peak of this toxic behavior comes when Big follows Carrie to a hotel and forces a kiss on her in an elevator. This unwelcome act marks the beginning of their tumultuous affair. Once again, Mr. Big’s manipulative back-and-forth antics get him what he wants, albeit with significant emotional collateral damage.
“I have to see you”
Another prime example of Big’s invasive behavior unfolds when his fling with actress Willow Summers falls apart. Devastated, he seeks solace in Carrie, naturally showing up only when it suits him. Carrie, however, is happily reconciled with Aidan and enjoying a romantic getaway in a secluded cabin.
Undeterred, Mr. Big makes the impulsive decision to drive for hours to their cabin. Arriving inebriated, he disrupts their peace by weeping over a magazine featuring Willow. The scene escalates further as he engages in a childish mud fight with Aidan.
“But I knew, Big’s heart had closed again”
During one of their sporadic dates in the final season, Mr. Big drops a bombshell: he’s been diagnosed with a heart condition requiring angioplasty. Carrie is understandably shaken and spends the episode in tears. However, her compassion shines through as she selflessly cares for him after the surgery.
The night after the operation, Big experiences a high fever. After Carrie consults the doctor via phone, a seemingly heartfelt moment unfolds. Big calls her an angel, declaring that life is too short for their usual games. Hopeful, Carrie believes Big’s heart (both literally and figuratively) has finally opened to her.
But as quickly as hope dawns, it crumbles. The next morning, Big acts distant, barely acknowledging her and behaving as if their emotional conversation never happened. This classic bait-and-switch leaves Carrie heartbroken once again.
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The article above was edited by Mariana do Patrocínio.
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