This may sound superficial and something like a first-world problem, but I don’t mean to come off that way. It’s not something people really think about, but there’s a real struggle in being pretty. I’m serious.
Many of us have gone through that glo-up process. Those series of years where we go from looking busted and digusted to something like Beyonce’s twin sister (or so we’d like to think). I’m as humble as they come, but I’m well aware that I’m much more attractive than I was 5 years ago. I’ve never let it get to my head. I’m still the same girl I’ve always been and honestly, I don’t care much for the attention it’s gotten me, because it’s not genuine. I’m not my looks. Many people neglect the fact that there’s a soul inhabiting this flesh and will continue to live on beyond this human experience. It’s so amazing. Why wouldn’t you want to know me, or anyone else, on a deeper level?
If you still aren’t understanding much of what I mean, consider these issues attractive women have to deal with when people just can’t seem to look past their physical feautures.
1. Making Friends
I strongly believe people will gravitate towards you if they are truly meant to be in your life, but there’s been a few times that I’ve heard that I either look “mean” or “unapproachable” and I hate it. That’s something I never understood because I take pride in being kind. I hear about, “resting bitch face” a lot, but I never thought I suffered from it. As far as I know, I’m always smiling. People remind me of it all the time. Really though, I’m not a mean girl– and if I truly seem like it from the outside looking in, try to get to know me before you further your judgement. That goes for a lot of attractive women. Yes, you have those typical, pretty, mean girls who take on the role of Regina George very well, but you’ll also find that there’s many beautiful women with the sweetest hearts.
2. Men Are Even Harder to Trust
Number freakin’ 2. We’re in our early 20’s. The sex drive of most of these men at this age are running rampant and I want no parts. They’re like pigeons waiting for a scrap of bread. Even if a guy approaches a pretty woman respectively, we’re skeptical. You find that this guy comes off as the kind of guy your mother might want you to bring home, but quite frankly, it seems too good to be true, and unfortunately, a lot of the time, that’s the case. I’m not saying that all men are dogs, but nowadays, it’s difficult to tell the difference so it’s much more logical to keep a guard up. This leads me to the next issue.
3. Difficulty Having Healthy Friendships with Guys
It’s great having girlfriends. Who else can we talk to for hours about the latest episode of Scandal or meet up with for brunch in the city? Female friends are essential, but sometimes we want a guy’s point of view on our issues. It’s true that women often tend to be more emotional than logical, which is why we seek a male companion to confide in during our times of need. Also, guys are generally more fun to be around sometimes. Thankfully, I have a good number of male friends I can truly call my friends, but I’ve also lost many. Why? Because they confessed or acted upon the fact that they had feelings for me. I’m not saying the friendship is automatically over after that confession, but it’s not the same in any way. It’s rather hard to talk to a guy about your interest in another man when that guy is crazy over you. But who knows? They say the best relationships start off as a friendship, so maybe you should take a second to reconsider that guy you’ve got trapped in the friend zone.
4. Unwanted Attention
People will stare at you. Especially men– of all ages, at that. Sometimes we like to feel sexy so we wear our Freakum Dress or do our makeup a certain way. If we do that though, we’d have to deal with the fact that if a man threw hisself on us in any way, someone would say it’s probably because of what we were wearing or how we looked at that moment. Women get kidnapped, assaulted, and raped solely because of how attractive they are and that is, indeed, one of the most frightening truths about this world we live in.
(The above image is a obviously a joke. I mean, who wouldn’t want Barack Obama looking at them like this?)
5. Having to Prove Yourself
I’m a pretty, black woman, with a small voice. Those are 3 qualities that sometimes make it hard for people to see my worth and all I have to offer. Because of those qualities, I’m sometimes inititially seen as spoiled or lazy. People often underestimate my capabilities so I go into overdrive trying to prove myself. Eventually I get the praises I deserve but being misunderstood and overlooked in the beginning tends to crush my spirit. Although I sometimes get discouraged, I pick myself up and continue to work as hard as possible to prove that women like me actually have what it takes.
There’s so many more things to consider when it comes to being an attractive woman in this society. Yes, there are pro’s of being pretty, but for the women who aren’t wrapped up in their physical appearance, it can be damaging to our self-esteem when people do not care to know the real you. So before you consider shooting your shot or judging a girl solely off her looks, take a moment to remind yourself that this is a real person with real feelings.