Navigating relationships in college—whether romantic or platonic—can be both exciting and challenging. A great way to strengthen these connections is by understanding love languages. The concept of love languages, introduced by Dr. Gary Chapman, identifies five distinct ways people express and receive love: Words of Affirmation, Acts of Service, Receiving Gifts, Quality Time, and Physical Touch. By understanding these, college students can build deeper, more meaningful connections with those around them.
Words of Affirmation
This love language focuses on verbal expressions of love and appreciation. Compliments, encouragement, and kind words go a long way. Romantically this could look like sweet texts, letters, or verbal expressions of love. Platonically this could be uplifting your friends with compliments or reminders of their worth strengthening your bond.
Acts of Service
This is all about actions that help lighten someone’s load or make their life easier. Romantically this would be cooking for them when they’ve had a long day or offering to help them in any way you could. This could look the same platonically also.
Receiving Gifts
For some, physical tokens of love—whether big or small—speak volumes. It’s less about materialism and more about thoughtfulness. This could be surprising someone with something that made you think of them or something you know has been on their wishlist.
Quality Time
Spending undivided, meaningful time with someone is what this language values most. With this one, you could plan dates and outings with someone. You could just spend time with them at home as well, just you being together is enough to express this love language.
Physical Touch
This love language involves touch as a form of connection and comfort, like hugs or holding hands. This could be Holding hands, cuddling, or light touches during conversations can create intimacy for romance. Platonically this would be high-fives, hugs, or a pat on the back.
Identifying Your Love Language
To figure out which love languages you give and receive, you could reflect, ask questions, or even take a quiz. Think about how you naturally show love and what makes you feel most appreciated. Do compliments light you up? Do you feel most loved when someone spends uninterrupted time with you? There is a quiz linked here, that could help you figure out your love language.
Be open about your love language and encourage others to share theirs. Also, make sure you are taking other people’s love language into consideration and including their love language, not just yours. You don’t have to change who you are, but making an effort to speak someone else’s love language shows care and consideration.
Understanding love languages helps college students develop deeper, more authentic relationships. Whether it’s through a hug, an encouraging text, or shared moments, learning how to give and receive love in meaningful ways fosters connections that last beyond graduation. So, what’s your love language? Take the time to discover it—and watch your relationships thrive.