Many students have seen movies such as Stomp the Yard and Love and Basketball and assume that immediately after coming to college, they’d find the love of their life. WRONG! A lot of people even assume that if you have a relationship in college, it won’t survive through graduation. The main assumption being that relationships might hinder you from experiencing life, like passing up on new friendships or even job promotions because of an old college fling. As a current college student in a relationship, I have learned that relationships may exist in college, but they need balance. I can also say, from personal experience, that it is NOT easy maintaining a relationship for various reasons. Here are 6 reasons why relationships in college can be a struggle.
1. You’re probably both still growing and changing
Like many other couples, my boyfriend and I began as just friends, so we grew in both our friendship and intimate relationship. You’ll bump heads many times, and it will be stressful, but it’s only because you’re both trying to find yourselves at the same time.
2. Communication issues
New couples tend to have communication issues simply because you’re a new couple. Boundaries within the relationship need to be established early in. Do you care about them dancing with other people at functions? How do you feel about the opposite sex being in their dorm room alone? And for my AUC readers, how do you feel about them being too close with their “sisters?” Communication also ties into solving dilemmas within the relationship. Is the silent treatment in effect when you’re mad at each other instead of talking it out? Are your problems being blasted all over social media instead of communicating directly with your significant other?
3. Finances
Because I live near an inner city, planning fun dates can not only be expensive but stressful. Without a car, Uber becomes your best friend, and that Uber tax is no joke. And who’s paying for these dates? Constantly going out really opens your eyes and makes you realize that you’re a broke college student who’s dating a broke college student. It’s not fair to expect your man to always pay, and it’s not fair for you to never be wined, dined, and treated like a princess. So, what happens next?
4. Distance can be a killer
One of the most difficult moments in my relationship was going home from school during summer break because I live in Virginia and my boyfriend lives in Florida. Although we made time to spend a week together in the summer, not all couples can afford trips to see their significant other. Facetime is always an option, and letters are cute, but time has to be set aside to do those things. If time can’t be set aside and communication becomes nonexistent, summertime can tear even the cutest couples apart with ease.
5. Roommates
One problem that I’ve heard many rough tales about, although it may be minor in some cases, is the dreaded case of roommates. Your roommate will most likely not like your boyfriend in the room as much as you do, and that’s perfectly fine, so always run it by them before you have your boyfriend over for 23 hours out of the day. Although ultimately it’s your choice, you don’t want to end up with roomie problems because they’re annoyed about your boyfriend always being in the room. Remember, it’s their room too.
6. Boyfriends can be a distraction
No one is going to sit there, hold your hand, and make you figure out how to prioritize your time in college, so it is up to you to make sure you balance out what is most important. When you first enter a relationship, the “cupcake phase” will be in full effect, and you’ll want to be around them 24/7. However, you can’t allow your relationship to impact your work ethic as a student. The most important thing is to not let them become too much of a distraction from the thing you came to college for!
Although many people have unrealistic expectations and high standards for their college relationships, they do exist. The most important thing is to be honest with yourself and your partner, and make sure dating is something you’re both ready for. There is no time for pointless dating in college. College is all about experiencing and preparing for the “real world,” so be careful with what you’re getting yourself into.