Hey, sis,
I see you. I see the way you navigate these halls at Clark Atlanta University, sometimes with confidence, and sometimes with doubt. I understand the challenges of being here, particularly as a Black girl striving to succeed in environments where it seems like everyone else is already established.
On my initial arrival, I was burdened with the expectation of perfection. Entering Atlanta’s HBCU life and its warmth felt like entering a foreign planet. For someone from the south side of Chicago, where everything moves at a different pace, navigating college was unique. Everything seemed amplified fashion, social circles, and unspoken competition. Coming from Chicago to an HBCU, I felt pressured to not only fit in but also stand out. And it wasn’t limited to Clark. I also saw it at Spelman and Morehouse. At Spelman, there is pressure to be the ideal Black woman, poised, polished, and flawless. At Morehouse, the pressure to embody the ideal of a strong Black man.. intellectual, ambitious, and emotionally composed. These ideals can create an unspoken expectation that vulnerability or asking for help equates to weakness. It’s as if we’re all trying for such a high standard that even the tiniest fall feels like failure.
But, sis, here’s what I want you to understand: perfection is not the aim. The journey is.
Imposter Syndrome is a Heavy Coat We Wear
This sense that you don’t belong, that you’re pretending, that you’re undeserving of your success, it’s known as imposter syndrome, and believe me, it’s widespread! Especially among Black girls in environments where perfection feels like the norm. We are often the first in our families or neighborhoods to attend college. That is a lot of pressure in itself, but let me tell you something: You were intended to be here. You earned your spot when you received that acceptance letter, never lose sight of that.
I used to get emotional any time I got below a B in high school. It felt like failing meant the end of the world. But here’s something I discovered in college that could set you free if you let it: the day has to end. You may fail an exam or miss a deadline, and guess what? The world keeps whirling. Failure is not fatal, sis. It is all part of the learning process. It is all part of the process of becoming. Each mistake is a lesson, not a label. You will fall, rise, and then continue on because the path does not finish with a single slip.
Why It’s Okay to Let Go of Perfection
Let me take a moment to remind you, it’s okay not to be “perfect”. Despite their polished appearances, nobody walking the promenade has it all figured out! We’re all developing, stumbling, and learning, and that’s fine. It’s more than okay; it’s human. We all have moments of uncertainty, and that’s okay. The key to success is to not let your doubts dominate you.
It took me a long time to learn this, but I want you to know it now: failing is part of the process. You’re not supposed to know all the answers right now. College is about learning, making errors, and discovering who you are in the process. You may not receive that 4.0, and that is fine. You may not get every internship or job you apply for, and that’s okay. You’re still learning, and growing, and I believe God’s grace is with you every step of the way. You are worthy of being here, taking up space, and having dreams that push you beyond your comfort zone.
Breaking Out of Your Shell
I understand what it’s like to try to get out of your shell yet feel trapped since you’ve been there for so long. Everyone here appears to have their cliques, orgs, and friends. It’s difficult to navigate, even as a junior, I’m STILL trying to figure everything out. It may seem that everyone around you is already in their circles and knows where they belong, but listen to me, you don’t have to rush your development. Everyone is going through their process, including you. College isn’t about being perfect right away; it’s about becoming who you were intended to be.
I am an education major, and this journey has shown me that progress is a process. When I’m teaching my students a new subject, they go through a process to figure it out. So, yes, I’m still figuring things out and occasionally unsure of my direction. But I know with each step, misstep I am growing closer to my goal.
How to Overcome Imposter Syndrome
Sis, I know overcoming imposter syndrome doesn’t happen overnight, but here’s what’s helping me, and I hope it helps you too:
1. Speak Life Over Yourself
Every morning, stand in the mirror and say affirmations: *I am worthy. I am enough*. Your words carry power. What you say to yourself influences your reality. So speak life into yourself, even when uncertainty threatens to blur your view.
2. Find Your People
Don’t attempt this journey alone. There are people here who understand your situation and will support you when you feel like you’re falling. We are not supposed to go through life alone, therefore let the community support you when you need it.
3. Celebrate Yourself :
Sis, you have come so far. Don’t forget to pause and celebrate. Whether it’s an A on a paper or simply getting out of bed on a difficult day, take a moment to acknowledge your accomplishments. You are not here by mistake; you have earned your spot.
So, whether you’re my big or little sister, know this: nobody has it completely together. Not at Spelman, Morehouse, or Clark. And that’s fine. You do not need to be perfect to fit in. You belong because of who you are. Keep following your path, and remember that every step, no matter how unsteady, is a step closer to becoming the woman you were destined to be.
With love,
Your Sister,
Jyla