Maybe I’m an old soul, but everything that’s becoming of this generation is enough to make me want to break down and cry. What’s with all the trust issues, mental health problems, violence, and meaningless relations? Love is able to fix all of this, so why aren’t we loving anymore?
We don’t seem to acknowledge chivalry anymore, and because of that, we’re not acknowledging love. We’ve heard of them, some of us have even experienced them both, but for some reason, a lot of us have chosen to ignore what they used to be and accept everything that they’re not. I spoke to my mother the other day, asking her, “Do you think that since we’re young, it’s okay that women settle for going to a guy’s place rather than him taking her out?” I knew the answer to my own question, I just wanted to hear her take on it. Of course she said no. It’s not okay.
Although there are guys who’ll take a girl out, from experience, far more of them are quicker to ask me to come to their place. I get it, they’re guys. We can’t always expect people to recognize our worth without really knowing who we are, but why is it like this now? You’d think that because someone is interested in you, they’d do a little more to impress you or keep you around. I often wonder if this is just what the early 20’s is like or is it going to continue to be like this as we grow older? My mother went on to talk about how guys would’ve never thought to do that back in her day. The first thought for them would’ve been to ask a woman out. It may not have always been too-extra of a date, but at least it wasn’t laying up or having sex on-call, calling it “Netflix and chill”. (Who came up with that anyway? Take it back, please.) I won’t lie as if I’ve never fell victim to it, but it gets old, and most likely, that’s all it’ll be. Once you show a guy that that’s all it takes to have you around, why would he try any harder? So now you’re stowed away in his room every night to keep him company, sex him, and text him all day about absolutely nothing, but never really leveling up because you’ve showed him that what you’ve chosen to accept is enough for you. If you know you want more then don’t settle for less. You’re worth far more than that and although you may desire the presence of someone who wants you around, think of HOW they want you around. Don’t be anyone’s convenience. Our spirits get tainted all the time, even without our knowing. You have to be mindful of what and who you choose to allow in your life because it’ll always end up effecting you in some way.
Intimacy varies in all kinds of ways. I enjoy laying up, watching movies, and talking with someone. It’s indeed a form of intimacy, but there’s so many other things you could be doing. This “talking stage” that we’ve adopted has become the new dating and it’s all been downhill from there. Not many people make it through the talking stage, but many are able to make it through when they’re actually dating as well. We’re moving too fast and yet, we’re not moving anywhere at all. You’re talking but are y’all exclusive? It seems that everyone is “talking” to everyone. Feelings are being invested for nothing at all and there’s a clear lack of communication, leading to these trust issues that almost everyone our age seems to have. Drake said it best in his 2011 song, ‘Doing It Wrong’, when he sung, “We live in a generation of not being in love and not being together, but we sure make it feel like we’re together.” There’s no explanation needed, I’m sure you can relate.
We have to get back to the sole purpose of life. We’re messing up nature. We’re here to love.