Coming into college, I was scared my high school relationship would immediately fail because everything I read about dating in college was about how high school relationships never last. Over and over they said high school relationships aren’t serious enough to last and distance kills them. But I can proudly say it is possible to still date your high school sweetheart in college. So forget those negative articles. Here are my guidelines to maintaining a high school relationship in college.
1. Communicate
Communication is the most important part in any relationship. College will bring a whole new set of problems and sticky situations to work through. Are you comfortable if your partner goes to a party without you? How do you feel about your significant other having late night study dates with one other person? These issues will arise, but many problems and arguments can easily be avoided with clear communication. Talk to each other honestly about how you’re feeling. No one is a mind reader. You have to be clear and open about your feelings and upfront if something is bothering you, instead of letting those feelings bottle up and eventually spill over into a fight.
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2. Have separate activities
It’s easy in college to want to spend every moment together either physically or mentally. No longer do you have to rush home to make curfew or text your parents where you are. Texting, phone calls and skype can keep long distance relationships together, but it’s important to find your own hobbies and extracurricular activities in college and to spend time with your friends. Don’t forget to make time for yourself.
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3. School comes first
While it’s easy to want to always spend time together, school work comes first. Don’t put off studying or working on an assignment to hang out or talk for hours on the phone. Your significant other will still be there after the due date has passed.
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4. Make Date Nights
School can get overwhelming and easily consume all of your time. Making date nights for the two of you to go do something special or planning a weekend visit gives you something to look forward to when the going gets tough. It’s easy to fall into the pattern where hanging out means watching Netflix together in your dorm room. Don’t keep doing the same old things. Go on an adventure and discover something new together. Â
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5. Manage Your Expectations
Welcome to college where everyone is broke, tired and hungry. Well, hopefully not super hungry, but it’s easy to let your expectations slip away from reality. Going out to eat might not be an option as often as when your parents were slipping you a $20 bill each weekend. If you’re dating long distance, you might not be able to see each other every weekend. Anniversary gifts might end up being homemade, but that’s alright! All that matters is that you’re happy together.
People may tell you otherwise, but it is 100% possible to make your high school relationship work in college. It’s all about how much effort you both put into the relationship. As soon as one person stops putting in as much effort or if you’re unhappy, it may be time to move on. Know what’s best for yourself and do what makes you happy.