Whenever I have a major life dilemma come up, I’m usually the last person who knows what to do. I’m too close to the issue, and, what’s more, I get stressed out too easily. When I need to make a decision that’s going to affect my life in a major way, I do what most girls do best and immediately call my best friend.
Her name is Evelyn, and she goes to school at North Carolina State University. I like to say we’re in a long-distance relationship; her boyfriend likes to say that I make him nervous. (Kidding – just a little.) Evelyn and I go back to eighth grade, when I made a dirty joke during a group project and she was the only one who laughed. We’ve been relying on each other ever since.
And one of the coolest things about Ev is that she is scarily level-headed, so when I need help with a problem, she’s always there with the right advice. These are three of the best pieces of wisdom she’s ever shared with me, and I figure they’re worth sharing with everybody else.
“Be the Adventure Landing boyfriend.”
In tenth grade, Ev and I were passing a high school bulletin on which someone had posted a flyer for job openings at Adventure Landing.
“Wouldn’t it be cool to date a guy who worked at Adventure Landing?” she asked.
We joked about how that would go – getting to ride go-karts for free or even sneaking in to play put-put at night. It went on and on – the power of getting to rule an Adventure Landing after hours and sneaking around somewhere you weren’t allowed to go as a kid. Looking back, it’s pretty obvious we weren’t interested in the imaginary boy, but the gateway to pulling some kind of glamorous anti-heist on a local amusement park.
We were already planning how to get away with climbing on top of the mini-golf animals when Evelyn groaned.
“You know,” she said. “We could just be the Adventure Landing boyfriends.”
Is that an obvious conclusion we should have reached sooner? Probably. We were 15 though, and we were used to being spoon-fed the idea that only boys got to initiate “Cool Stuff” and girls could only fight for an invitation… yeah.
As it turns out, that was a small turning point for us. We learned not to wait for guys to brainstorm our teenage shenanigans for us. “Be the Adventure Landing Boyfriend” became something of a rallying cry.
Now, did we end up getting caught breaking into public parks and “borrowing” paddle boats a year later? Yes, yes we did.
“You don’t look like you have skinny legs; you look like you’re wearing really cool pants.”
This one might sound like a put-down, but it’s something I tell myself now, whenever I go shopping, as a self-esteem booster.
Ev and I were in a dressing room once, and I’d found a cool pair of cropped, wide-leg pants with fringe at the bottom. They were cool as hell, and I loved them on the rack, but when I put them on, I couldn’t help but feel self-conscious about how I looked wearing them. For a girl with fuller hips, the flare wasn’t the most flattering look, I thought. I tried to put them back, but Evelyn fought me on it.
“I don’t know; they make me look big.”
“They look cool as hell.”
“My legs look fat.”
She paused and crossed her arms.
“Ellie,” she said. “Listen. You don’t look like you have skinny legs — you look like you’re wearing really cool pants. Buy the pants.”
I bought the pants. Do I look skinny when I wear them? Not at all. Do I feel stylish and cool as hell? Absolutely.
“Would a man give himself a nine?”
To be fair, this is advice I gave Evelyn, but we both use it on each other all the time now.
She was working on a group project and was asked to grade herself and her partner out of ten. Now, I had watched her do this entire project essentially by herself with nothing from the chick on the other end, and she gave that girl a seven and herself a nine.
“Why a nine?” I asked.
“I don’t know. I could have sourced things better… put in more pictures?”
“Evelyn. Would a man give himself a nine?”
She paused for a minute and gave herself a ten.
We like to use this one if we ever feel the urge to talk ourselves down or deny a compliment. Basically, if you ever have the impulse to downplay the hard work you’ve put in, just ask yourself, “would a man give himself a nine?” and go give yourself a 10.