There is a campus cutie in my LFIT class and I get over watching him swim everyday. Â How do I get his attention without looking too desperate? – Available Alice
He Said:
Dear Available Alice,
So I’ll ignore the fact that I now know how desperate and semi-stalky you are and provide you with a little bit of advice. It’s time for you to carpe diem and put your best foot — or swimming stroke — forward.
Wooing this guy can go one of two ways: swimmingly (see what I did there) or terribly. The best laid plans out there for you are to approach him and pretend to need help with your technique. Even if you are Michael Phelps-like in your swimming abilities, you need to appear as if you’re having trouble staying above water. Seriously, guys love a damsel in distress. If you’re even moderately attractive, chances are that he will take you up on your request. He’d rather teach you how to swim and have a little bit of authority over you rather than feel as though you’re better than he is.
So maybe, as he’s teaching you not to drown, you can be flirty with him — guys like it when a girl isn’t afraid to touch them and/or be touched by them. Maybe get him to teach you a butterfly stroke a little more hands-on rather than him just displaying the correct technique. Just take a page out of the cliché handbook of teaching a girl how to swing a baseball bat or golf club, that way you’ll get to live out every rom-com ever created and he will just think he’s going to get lucky.
But whatever you do, DON’T tease him if he isn’t an all-star swimmer. You may think that it’s cute to make light of his aquatic abilities, but if there’s ever been a bigger turn off, it’s getting made fun of, even in a playful way. If you don’t abide by this advice you’ll be sinking rather than swimming.
So remember, give him the upper hand and only build his confidence. And if there’s any sure-fire way to get his attention it’s to wear the skimpiest swimsuit money can buy. Good luck.
HCXO,
 He Said
She Said:
Dear Available Alice,
First and foremost, score for you! My LFIT class freshman year consisted of myself and a cluster of fellow X-chromosomers. At the outset, I was relieved to not have to worry about looking cute or constantly dabbing my sweat-plastered forehead during class. However, I also didn’t have much to look forward to besides screaming calf muscles. You, on the other hand, have the virtue of having eye candy to motivate your workout!
With respect to your predicament, I completely understand your trepidation. It is hard enough to approach classmates, let alone insanely attractive ones. Keep in mind, though, that he is just that – a classmate, a human being. Good genes don’t make him a demi-god! He occupies the same air space that you do. I believe that if you meditate on that veritable reality, eventually your nerves won’t go into such a frenzy when you see him. Remember, confidence is one of the most palpable and attractive qualities a person can exude so approach him as such.
Make small talk! If he is a proficient swimmer, ask that he help you on your technique. This sort of collaboration can serve as the perfect springboard for future conversations – and maybe a casual lunch date, dinner date, dessert–I think you see where I’m going with this.
On the other hand, if he is not the strongest swimmer, tease him coquettishly to get a dialogue going. Follow up with an offer to help him work on his stroke. Be flirty but not so overt that it comes off slutty or arrogant. There is a delicate balance between the two and, as you stated, you don’t want to come off as desperate. Nor do you want to initiate anything physical before giving him a window to discover how incredibly wonderful you are. Hope these tips help!
HCXO, She Said