So, it’s a total bummer you can’t have that kitten your friend’s giving away on Facebook just because you’re living on campus. But you don’t have to spend your dorming days lonely and desperate for companionship: it says, right in the Housing and Residence handbook that you can have fish in up to a 10-gallon tank. You may be saying now that fish are boring and useless, but that isn’t true! A pet fish is 10/10 the solution to your pet-wanting needs. Why?
1. Fish are easy to take care of.
Basically, all you have to remember to do is feed your fish every day and clean their tank occasionally. You don’t have to take them for walks, or scoop up their poop, or pick up their poop with a plastic bag, or even cut out any poop that got stuck to their fur.
Also, fish don’t have fur, (see goldfish diagram below) so you don’t have to worry about shedding.
2. There are so many different types of fish to choose from.
Goldfish are super cool, but check it out: they’re not your only option in the fishy-verse. Depending on your tank size (reminder: you can go as big as 10 gallons) you can get a Betta fish, a Guppy fish, or a school of tiny Neon Tetra.
Just be sure that you educate yourself on how big of a tank each kind of fish needs before you stick a Clownfish in a 5 gallon tank. Unfortunately, Nemo needs to be in at least 20 gallons to survive.
3. You can design the cutest/dopest/slickest tank ever.
You may not have been in a pet store recently, but the fish tank design game is straight up nutty right now. Your fish pad can tie your entire dorm room together. You can have live plants, pink plastic plants, a sunken ship, the cast of Spongebob in figurine form, tiny crumbling columns, or just a really cool rock. Think about the possibilities!
4. Fish are great listeners
Not making any generalizations, but fish are usually the strong, silent type. You can talk to your fish about anything and they probably wouldn’t even tell anyone what you said. Just be careful around Squidward’s house. They are notoriously nosy.
5. You’ll never lose your fish.
Listen, cats and dogs will just try to leave you, anyway. If given the chance, they will abandon you for someone else or a life of rock and roll on the road. But fish literally can never leave the spot you put their bowl in. They can’t run away, and they’re probably more into a softer style of music like jazz or something by John Mayer.
However lonely you are, though, please don’t take on the responsibility of a pet fish without knowing you can give them the best and healthiest life possible. Just remember: