To The Girl Who Should Have Made it to College

In loving memory of Katherine King (2009-2016), also known as “Katherine The Brave,” who fought Diffuse Intrinsic Pontine Glioma (DIPG), a rare pediatric brain cancer. 

To the girl who should have made it to college,

I never knew you, but I’m sitting here in my dorm room, wondering why losing you has hit me so hard. I don’t know the answer to that, just like I don’t know the answer to why I got the chance to grow up, and you didn’t. All I know is that none of this is fair.

I just want you to know that this was never your fault. I know you felt like being sick meant you did something wrong, but the reason you felt that way was because of your incredible sense of empathy. You might not know what empathy means, because you were going to learn that word in fifth grade, but you knew in your heart, way beyond your years. While your peers were learning how to read, you were learning the pain that everyone around you felt, constantly feeling the need to make it better. I can’t even imagine how that must have felt. You were 7 years old, and trying to heal the sorrow of a truth that no one in this world has figured out… Why bad things happen to good people.

You were so simple and pure, and yet so complex.

Some people live their whole lives without making a positive impact. You were 7, and already changed the world. That, Katherine, is living.

Your gift is exactly what the world needed, and your beautiful heart would have changed so many more lives had you been given more time to share it with the world.

Someday, someone you never got the chance to meet will be searching for the genuine love in your heart, ready to return it right back to you. You were going to be someone’s best friend. You were going to be someone’s maid of honor. You were going to be someone’s soulmate.

The tragedy is that they will never know.

When I think about the future you deserved, I can’t help but think about how this story should have ended. You should have had the chance to apply to college in Hawaii, your favorite place in the world. You would have assuaged your family’s fears as they dropped you off at your new dorm. You would have hugged your sisters and your parents, drying their tears and making them laugh one last time before saying “see you later.” You would have known that you were moving forward for the best, and would make your family proud.  

You shouldn’t have had to say a silent goodbye in their arms, not fully understanding your own fate.

Your mom should have a pit in her stomach years from now, because her baby girl is leaving the nest at 18. She should not have a hole in her heart now because your life was cut short before your 8th birthday.

I shouldn’t have to be writing this letter to you, because you should be here.

Photos courtesy of the Katherine The Brave Facebook page. 

• awareness
• cancer
• childhood
• family
• grief
• love