Dear my college “friends,”
I know college is a scary time filled with confusion and anxiety. I know it’s stressful and can be a lot to handle, and I know freshman year consists of finding your place and trying to fit in. But even with all the pandemonium, being a real, honest person is still truly vital. Times may be hectic but, when did the golden rule slip so far from your mind. When did you forget to treat others how you want to be treated? The last time I checked, friendship, kindness and honesty were the foundations of a genuine individual. The only qualities I see in you guys now is that of lying, trying too hard and being fake. Why? Why did you turn on me when I did nothing? Was it because I didn’t want to go out that one Saturday night? Or was it when I didn’t want to hook up with a different guy every night? Oh no, I know what it was. It was that I wasn’t “cool” enough for you. I didn’t feel like belittling people to make myself feel stronger and that’s something you flourish on. Why did you leave me when I needed you? When I was alone, scared and needed a shoulder to lean on, yours was absent. I’ve never felt more forgotten than that night. For the longest time I thought it was me. I thought I was doing something wrong, that I was the problem. You made me feel that way. You made me hate the person I was. You made me despise the kindhearted, caring and naive individual I grew up loving. But finally I came to the realization that it’s not me, it’s you. It’s always been you. The insecurities I felt were reflections of your own emotions. The loneliness I felt was just you pushing me away to fit in with the “cool” crowd. But what cool crowd? This isn’t high school. This isn’t a time where there is a popular crowd and a loser crowd. This is college, an institution where individualism thrives. So finally I figured it out. It’s always been you and it will never be me. I found my people. I’m finally happy. After months of confusion, I’m genuinely happy. I’m comfortable and confident with who I am. I’ve met my true best friends and they’ve become the best support group a girl can only dream of having. I’ve found my place here at college and I hope you find yours too.I can’t say I wish the best for you but I can’t say I wish the worst. What I can say is that I hope you learn. I hope you grow up and grow out of high school because you are too stuck in the past. I truly wish that one day you can be as happy as I’ve become. I’ve learned through mistakes and I had to learn the hard way, but you don’t have to. You can read this and come to the understanding that this is about you. But sadly, I know that won’t happen. So finally, I say good-bye. Goodbye to the “friendship” and goodbye to you, for good this time. You’ve taught me who the real, genuine people in my life are and I guess in a way I can also thank you for that.
Enjoy your time here at college,
Sincerely,
The girl you thought you was weak.