I was running with my cousin this week (who, by the way, is 32) when she mentioned that she “didn’t believe in dating in college… making out is so much easier.” At first I laughed, then I couldn’t help but wonder, could she possibly be right? Is it possible the majority of college-aged people do not have the stability, maybe emotional maturity, to fully commit to a relationship that could blossom into something more permanent? In a world of still-growing technology, “cuffing season” and an overall inability to commit, is dating really dead?
I do have lots of friends in healthy, long-term relationships, but I am starting to feel that this is maybe the exception, and not the rule. You can’t help but admit this grown, college graduate to high school guidance counselor has a point. Chad from the Alpha Sigma Pi probably (disclaimer: I’m not (directly) telling you to cut off whatever guy you’re involved with because he’s always sending you “U up?” texts) wants to spend all his Saturdays with the boys drinking shitty beer than listening to you tell him about your life goals and dreams. It’s so much easier to go to the club and snag a guy to make out with for temporary emotional fulfillment. It may not be the most satisfying route but definitely the easiest. We have a rough tendency to ghost one another instead of outright saying no. We’re all guilty of it, whether you want to admit it or not. You have all these memes about getting glowing skin and wishing you could just be married already when you drop James from Alpha Tau Sigma Beta Alpha Pi Epsilon anyway.
But you can definitely make the case for her being wrong. I may just be nihilistic- I was just ghosted by a frat boy myself (he wanted to spend a Saturday with me! What can I say?!) and I just had a friend get out of a long term relationship. But is long-term, romantic healthy dating in college the rule, or exception? My cousin mentioned that the chances of finding your “soulmate” in college are far and few in between. Maybe it’s different now! I might not think so, but I’m not discouraging anyone. Go for it. Maybe I’m a nihilist because I believe that relationships are dying, and that’s just me. At least there’s always dogs, Netflix, and wine.