In this series, we are celebrating the uniqueness of three local Black women as a way to dismantle the stereotypical myth that Black women are a monolith—that we all fit within one box. As a Black woman myself, I believe it’s important to shine a light on the range within Black girl magic to inspire us to be ourselves. We have varying passions and aspirations that shape who we are and how we want to be seen in the world.
Andraya Mays—Senior Manager of Black Led Social Change at United Way of Greater Cincinnati—strives to embody love first and foremost. She is the author of the girl who learned to heal herself: a journey of prayers, proverbs, and poetry. Andraya recently talked to me about her inspirational book and her advice to Black women on how to start and continue their healing journeys.
What has surprised you the most in your current role?
I’ve been just surprised that this work exists because it’s very rare that you see funding for explicit anti-racist initiatives. As I’ve gotten to know the grantees—the people who we fund—I’ve seen the power of those dollars and I’ve heard the impact that the program has made. It’s surprising because I’ve always known the power of the people to do great things, but to get confirmation that all people need is the funding and the support is incredible.
What inspired you to write your book?
The honest answer is God. I had quit my job a couple of months prior, and I was filling out application after application. I finally just got pissed off because I’m highly qualified, I interview well, and I’m a very confident person. I knew I was doing my part and I felt like God wasn’t doing his. I randomly flipped through my Bible and landed on Matthew 8:26, where Jesus said “Oh ye of little faith”. It felt very timely because I was losing my sense of faith.
Immediately after, I looked at my vision board where I wrote: “Become a Best-selling Author”. I had like three or four of my journals stacked up, and I started reading them. I stopped and looked back at the vision board then looked at my journals and asked God “No, why would I tell my business?” I transcribed my journals, designed my cover in Canva, and published my book through Amazon.
How did you connect the number seven with your book?
The number seven had come up a lot during this process. For starters, this was in July of 2023. I had seven jobs. I had seven completed journals. When I asked God what the title of my book would be, it immediately popped into my head and the title and subtitle are both seven words long.
Do you have any advice for Black women who haven’t aren’t sure where to start on their healing journey?
Start with grace and validate wherever you are. Don’t compare what anybody else is going through with what you are experiencing. Hold space for yourself because we’re understanding and patient with everybody else, but we’re so hard on ourselves. Become aware of what needs healing and be willing and committed to move through it one day at a time. Remember to never give up on yourself.
For women who are further along, it’s important to realize that there’s always work to be done so allow yourself to feel whatever it is that you feel each day and have faith that life happens in cycles. There is a duality of life and death, and darkness and light. If we keep going, we will always see the light again. When I started my journey, I thought that there would be an endpoint, I thought there was a destination, and I thought you fixed everything—I didn’t know I’d be healing every day for the rest of my life.
How do you celebrate yourself?
Right now, my biggest celebration of self is getting myself fresh flowers just about every week. I cut on some music while I arrange them and it brightens my day, especially in the winter. As an opportunity to spend more time with myself, I have started to carve out time in the morning by trying to wake up at least 30 minutes earlier. I take myself on dates and trips just doing whatever I feel my spirit needs—dinner, staying home to watch movies to cry on purpose or a weekend getaway. I’m very intentional about celebrating myself in some way every day.
Is there anything else you’d like our readers to know?
Don’t waste a whole lot of time thinking you have to achieve a certain thing or get to a certain place before you can be happy. Don’t allow people who don’t make you feel loved, seen, cared for, and valued—including yourself—to take up too much space or waste too much of your time. Know that you are loved and that you are deserving and worthy of love just because you exist.
Check out and purchase her book here.